I think oral sex is an important part of foreplay. There are times when going all the way just isn’t possible… or as exciting as giving him what he really wants when we really wants it. This can be in the shower… to wake him up in the morning…in your home office while the kids are away… in the living room… relaxing in a secluded area of a beach… So while I will offer you my tips in a later post… I thought I would see what people have to say on the net.
This lead me to a post that was found at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-give-a-good-blow-job.html, now mind you I did a little editing to meet with my own writing guidelines… I don’t think sex has to be lude and crude… you can say what is needed without being nasty. So you have the link if you want to go read verbatim what was said. But really this is pretty close.
You know, there were a lot of excellent posts on this subject and the I guess the really “correct” answer is that there is no ONE answer, every guy is a little different.
1. Use your hands as little as possible. If you have to use your hand to steady the penis every once in a while that’s OK. It’s supposed to be your MOUTH that gets me off not your HAND. In fact, my girlfriend usually puts her hands either behind her back or on my stomach to remind her of my no hands preference.
2. Be gentle, don’t use your teeth. But, at the same time, don’t act like it’s made of fine china, don’t be AFRAID of the penis!
3. Look up at his face. Smile alot. This is one of the two rules that in my opinion MUST be followed. Ladies, there is simply nothing better than having a beautiful woman, the under ordinary circumstances you really do respect, taking your manhood halfway down her throat and smiling like a pornstar. It’s just mind-blowing ladies. Seriously.
4. Follow his directions, if any.
5. Personally, I never was much into ball licking.
6. Lick up and down the shaft. This is good for variety, maybe do this 20% of the time, but really 80% of the time should be about hard suction.
7. Take him all in, and I do mean as far down your throat as you can get him, at least 1 out of every 6 or 7 down strokes.
OK ladies, I need to say something on this rule. Only YOU really know if you are SERIOUSLY gagging or if it’s something you can live with. See, for me, I know about every 6th or 7th down stroke (or more often if she really is into it that day), she’s gonna take me in her mouth all the way down to my balls and she is going to gag a little. Ladies, please do not take this the wrong way, I love my girlfriend to death, I’ve actually asked her to marry me, but she doesn’t want to. The thing is ladies, we expect and WANT you to gag a little! We want to know we got as far down you throat as possible, hey at least I do. Deep penetration is psychologically important to men. If you are not willing to take him in as far as humanly possible at least once in a while, then really the blowjob isn’t worth it from his point of view. This is the second rule that MUST be followed for me.
8. Personally, I like a nice steady pace, pick a rhythm and stick it to.
9. Rub his body with you hands. Great idea, you can put the hands anywhere, as long as you don’t use them for a glorified handjob.
10. Don’t stop until he comes. OK, this one point that I can disagree with. Personally ladies, I want you to let me know if you intend to “finish me” this way or not. If you DO intend to finish me this way, then ladies, a finishing blowjob SHOULD be a NASTY blowjob, which means you should swallow at least some of it.
11. Oh, one more thing. Ladies, don’t get mad when the guy puts his hand on the back of your head and tries to force it deeper down your throat. OK now sometimes, he’s just being an asshole, I grant you that. But ladies a lot of the time, that means you are not going deep enough. The next time he puts his hand back there, try this. Go really DEEP, as DEEP as you can for like 5 consecutive down strokes. You will give him so much pleasure that I bet you that hand moves! Now, if you do that and the hand doesn’t move, then you legitimately have the right to stop and ask him “dude, what do you want? I CAN’T go any deeper and what I just did should have damn near sent you into orbit!!”.………………………….
A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):
I agree that every man is different, but there are some basic techniques to use. I’d recommend starting by holding the base of the penis gently so he’s angled against his stomach and licking the testicles. Start gently and increase the pressure, perhaps taking each testicle into your mouth. Moan or hum whilst you do this, the vibrations feel good.
Then lick where you were holding him at the base and start moving up the penis. Keep using your hand to steady him and have him where you need him to be. If you have enough saliva at this point, put your lips into an open ‘pout’ side on to his penis and move them from the base to just before the head, flicking with your tongue but not moving your lips. Keep starting at the base and moving up ’til you’ve covered most of him. Change this movement to long wet licks (this is the easiest time to look up at him). Make sure the licks start to cover the head without going straight to the tip. Make the last of the licks straight up the back of the penis covering the frenulum gently and swirling around the base of the glans up to the top of the head.
Making sure your lips are wet, again pout but position your mouth straight over the head. Gently push down over the head to simulate as if he was penetrating you. Use some resistance but nothing major at this point. Once you’ve got the head in your mouth, use your tongue to swirl all over. Some guys like a little flick right at the tip.
Slowly raise your head up but don’t remove his penis from your mouth. Make sure your bottom lip gently rubs against the frenulum on the way up. You can use the fingers of the hand supporting the penis to play with his testicles whilst doing this. Push your head down again gently but a little further. Keep doing this slowly, moving your tongue over him, and try to get frequent gentle contact with the frenulum, until you’ve as much of him in your mouth as you’re comfortable with.
You can choose to cover your teeth with your lips or not, but try not to catch him, and start a regular slow rhythm with a little suction (not massive amounts!) You can use your hand as an extension of your mouth, but make sure his penis is nice and wet so you’re not pulling on him uncomfortably.
Increase the pressure and the rhythm (not forgetting to move your tongue against him when he’s inside your mouth)until you’ve got a sustainable and relatively fast movement that’s comfortable for you. Be prepared for lots of sucking noises and you don’t necessarily need to go faster even if he’s urging you to. It depends on how much teasing you want to do.
If your jaw needs a break, hold his head in your mouth and gently suck and lick whilst using your hand as you would to masturbate him.
If you want to try deep throating, go for it and be confident about it. It takes a bit of practice and you will have a gag reflex, but it’s satisfying to do and if you (again) move your tongue (admittedly it won’t be that much!) so much the better. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you and I don’t think it’s essential but a nice added extra.
Personally, my opinion is that even if you don’t like the taste, swallow. It’ll spend less time on your tongue than if you spit and is tidier! Alternatively, when he’s near, masturbate him onto your face (close your eyes) or your breasts.
Once you’re comfortable with it, you can add little tricks (rotating your head one way and your hand another, following your mouth with your hand and flicking your index finger over the head inside your mouth so that on the way down his penis is between your forefinger and middle finger, applying pressure to/licking the perineum)but the best thing you can do is enjoy it. If you’re not into it, any guy worth his salt won’t try to pressure you into it. Just don’t expect the same back!
I want to close this with saying that I think it is important that you talk to your mate. Make sure that you are doing what he likes. I don’t care if 9 out of 10 guys tell you that they don’t want you to use your hands… if you man wants you to use your hand then use your hand! When you are performing oral sex it isn’t really about what you like or want, the entire goal is to please him… what turns him on, what is bringing him the most pleasure.
If you aren’t really enjoying the act itself, enjoy the fact that you are giving your man what he wants. After all you have to give in order to receive. If you want him to perform orally on you, and you want him to do what feels good to you… then I suggest you do the same for him.
