Guide to Performing Cunnilingus

I wanted to add a little more to the previous post, where one of my readers wanted to know how to get her man to perform cunnilingus. There is possibly another reason a man wouldn’t want to do it, and that is because he doesn’t know how.

See contrary to what we as women think and what most men want us to believe, cunnilingus is NOT a natural born talent, it is a skill that must be practiced and perfected. This goes for lesbians as well, yes we as women all have a vagina but that doesn’t mean we as a woman necessarily know what to do to another woman to make her scream.

First understand that no two women are the same. So just because you were outstanding at eating out one woman doesn’t mean that you are going to be an award winning pussy eater for every woman. What does this mean then? It means that you can try your old techniques on a new partner but you better be ready to relearn your tactical skills. So what are you to do?

My favorite and most important recommendation, talk to your partner. Find out what it is she likes, what she wants. If you are with a woman that has never had anyone go down on her before you are in luck, you can offer your “expertise” on what you know so that you can discover together what she enjoys. But talk to one another. As for when should you have this discussion? Well if you spend anytime reading you will find that there is various recommendations out there, either during sex or prior to sex or after sex. I say this, have the discussion when it feels right. If you are going to do it in the middle of sex then be prepared for the answers you are going to get and make sure that your partner is comfortable answering those questions.

Since cunnilingus or “oral love making” can go on for extended periods of time, both partners need to find a comfortable position to be in. For some couples, oral sex is the only form of sexual activity they engage in together, so finding a comfortable position is extremely important. The best are perhaps those in which the recipient is in a dominant position, which is kneeling or lying over their partner. This gives them the greatest freedom of movement and control. Ideally, both partners are fully relaxed during cunnilingus. If one or both partners are uncomfortable, it becomes more a chore than a pleasure. You do not want the person performing cunnilingus to get a sore or stiff neck holding their mouth up to their partner’s vulva. You do not want the recipient to get tired holding her own weight up for long periods of time. Take some time to find a comfortable position before actually starting to have sex. Your health, age, weight, and flexibility will determine which position(s) are best for you. Using a fancy position gains you nothing if you tire or your muscles become stiff and sore.

Different Positions:The recipient may want to kneel over her partner’s head, lowering her vulva down onto their mouth. She can either face away from or towards her partner’s feet. The position that works best will depend on the angle of her vulva, and the angle of her partner’s mouth. You may want to place a pillow under the head of the person performing cunnilingus, to raise it up to the level of the recipient’s vulva. You may want to place a big soft pillow, or a folded comforter/quilt under the recipient’s body so she can rest her weight on it while keeping her pelvis elevated. For extended sessions you do not want either of you to be actively supporting any part of your own or your partner’s body weight.

The recipient can also lie under her partner who is lying on or kneeling over her, head to toe.

The recipient may want to lie on a bed with her lower legs hanging over the edge. Her partner kneels on the floor between her spread legs. Pillows can be placed under the knees and/or chest of the person kneeling. The recipient may want to place a pillow under their hips to raise them up to mouth level.

Some couples may want to lie on their sides, side by side, head to toe. Placing their heads on each other’s thigh.

Other couples may need to lie on the floor on their sides, at right angles forming a “T”, the performer lying their head on the inner thigh of the recipient. The recipient may need to prop their upper, bent, leg on a couple of pillows. The person performing cunnilingus can either lie in front of or behind the recipient.

Of course there is always the traditional position where the recipient lies on her back with legs spread, her partner lying between her legs. Pillows can be placed under the recipient’s head to raise it up so she can watch her partner, or her hips can be elevated with pillows. The person performing cunnilingus can also rest the weight of their chest on a pillow if needed.

The actual techniques employed vary from couple to couple. The sensitivity of a woman’s vulva and clitoris will determine what type of stimulation she likes and is most responsive to. There are women who like a slow soft touch, others like a fast firm touch. The structure of her genitals will determine what is possible. A woman with well-developed inner labia may like to have them sucked on; a woman with small or absent inner labia will not be able to experience this. If a woman has clitoris that projects outward or is well developed, her partner will be able to suck on it like a small penis. If a woman has a small or hidden clitoris, her partner may only be able to lap at it. There is one important rule though, unless you intend to tease her, keep up your rhythm and intensity once you start bringing her close to orgasm. Nothing upsets a woman more during cunnilingus than having her partner break their rhythm, or wander off the spot, when they are on the verge of orgasm.

DO NOT

seek out a woman’s clitoris immediately. If a woman is not adequately aroused her clitoris will either be overly sensitive or totally insensitive to all forms of stimulation. You need to wait for her hormones to get flowing and for her genitals to become engorged with blood. Make a slow and lengthy journey to her clitoris. Discover her clitoris by accident. Caress, kiss, and lick her inner thighs. Gently lick the area where her vulva and inner thighs come together. Slowly lick her pubic mound and outer labia. Take your time. Run your tongue along the grove created by the meeting of her outer labia. Slip your tongue between her inner and outer labia. If possible, draw her inner labia into your mouth and suck on them; gently draw blood into them. Lick the area between her inner labia; the area just outside her vagina and the location of the urethral orifice. If her clitoral body is well defined, run your tongue along the groves that separates it from her outer labia.

When she is dripping wet and begging for more, very gently start licking her clitoris. Do not retract her hood at first. Give her time to get highly aroused. When she seems ready to explode slip her clitoral hood back with your lubricated fingers, or she can use her own, and lick and suck on her exquisitely sensitive clitoral glands. Be very gentle. There are women who require a very light touch; others will find this ticklish and will require a firm but gentle touch. Still others will not be able to tolerate direct stimulation of their clitoral glands. Gently suck on her clitoris; delicately draw more blood into it. Once you find a form of stimulation that is pleasurable for her, maintain that stimulation until she experiences orgasm, if one is desired. If she is not able to experience orgasm, continue the stimulation for as long as it is pleasurable for the both of you. Cunnilingus need not include orgasm for it to be very pleasurable and satisfying.

Listen to Your Partner

 

If a woman already knows what she likes, listen to her instructions. If she has never experienced cunnilingus, or at least a pleasurable session, slow experimentation is in order. Even couples who are quite in tune with each other may at times want to try new techniques. When you experiment, try moving your tongue over her vulva in every manner you can think of. There are lots of ways, and there is only one way to find out what works best for her, trial and error.

If both partners are in a comfortable position and fully relaxed, you may not be able to spread the woman’s outer labia to get at the treasures within, using your hands, so you will need to bury your face her in vulva, finding her clitoris and inner labia with your lips and tongue. A woman may be able assist with her own hands, but this too may be tiring. If a woman’s legs are comfortably spread her vulva will spread open naturally and her outer labia draw apart when she is highly aroused.

Since your tongue may grow tired, be sure to use your lips and tongue to caress and suck on her delicate tissues in alternation. If you extend your tongue fully, and you are not accustomed to this, your tongue will soon get tired. It is better to get your mouth as close to her clitoris and labia as possible. Use short strokes with you tongue slightly extended.

A woman may enjoy it when you insert your tongue into her vagina and stimulate her vaginal walls. You may not be able to insert your tongue very far, but usually the most sensitive tissues are near the entrance anyway. There are women who enjoy it when you insert your finger(s) into her vagina and stimulate her vaginal walls, and possibly her G-Spot, while you suck on her clitoris. Some enjoy it when you insert your lubricated finger(s) into her anus and/or massage her anus while performing cunnilingus.

You can also include the use of dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs. A woman may enjoy the feeling of being stretched open or filled while being orally stimulated. A vibrator may make orgasm possible during cunnilingus when it would otherwise be impossible. While the vibrator alone may result in orgasm, the combination may be more pleasurable and result in a stronger orgasm.

Many couples enjoy engaging in the so called “69″ or “Ying/Yang” position during oral sex. These terms allude to the practice whereby both partners orally stimulating each other at the same time, lying head to toe. There are couples who find this very enjoyable, feeding off each other’s arousal and orgasm. Others find they cannot concentrate on what they are doing to their partner, and get so caught up in their own pleasure they forget to stimulate their partner. Some become so distracted by what they are doing that they themselves cannot experience orgasm. So again, only trial and error will tell you if this technique is suitable for you and your partner.

A Journey Into a Woman’s Self Discovery: Part 2

Vibrators

Sex toys come in very hand for the woman who take a while to reach orgasm. Constantly using the more manual methods can be tiring and cause a certain amount of wrist fatigue. For these woman, many times this leads them to stop a good session before they climax. So if you have been disappointed by your own short comings I would recommend investing in a Vibrators

There are basically two different types of vibrators, battery operated and those that need to be plugged in. It doesn’t matter which type you choose.

It’s a good idea not to use a vibrator directly on your clitoris the first time you ever try one because of this. You might well find that the stimulation they afford is too intense, so I’d suggest that you first try placing ( Playgirl aqua G – Rabbit vibrators ) it on your labia or your mons. You may even want to try using it whilst you have your panties on as this can produce a different more subtle sensation than direct clitoral contact. Don’t be afraid to try new things, they aren’t called sex toys for nothing. The idea is to have fun and find what works for you personally.

One thing that is often over looked when people first try vibrators is (Sex toys reviews – Universal lube – Silicone based lubricants – Sex lubricants ) lubricants. Just simply adding a small amount of lubricant on your chosen toy before you begin playing can greatly enhance your experience. Just be sure that the lubricant is suitable for use with the vibrator of your choice.

Thigh squeezing

Some women can achieve sexual pleasure — even orgasm — by simply squeezing or rubbing their thighs together, thus indirectly stimulating the clitoris. This technique can even be used in public! Without risk as there is nothing to show what you are doing and you can remain fully dressed! Long bus ride? Boring desk job or classroom? No problem!

Suggestions for getting started: When masturbating at home, make it a habit to press together your thighs when you orgasm. After that becomes second-nature, press your thighs when you can’t stop yourself from having an orgasm (but haven’t yet), and then pull your hands away — leave it up to your legs to ride yourself over the top. You’re bound to have a few frustrating flameouts, but the practice is worth it. Eventually, with the help of fantasy and association, you’ll be able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation process.

Dildo play

A word of warning here. Care should always be taken when inserting any object into yourself. Excessive size or over enthusiastic movements can cause internal bruising or worse. Small objects or items that can break or shed parts can cause real problems, such as cutting or internal losses, both of which could require medical assistance to fix. Hygiene too has to be considered. Any germs on an inserted item are going to get into you and could cause infections of various types, it is often a good idea to place a condom over your chosen object. So be warned, if you want to insert something make sure it’s safe.

Whatever you choose to insert, it will technically be a dildo, as (Ty Fox realistic cock – Realistic dildos ) dildo is the name for a substitute penis used for penetrative masturbation.

First off, try to ensure your vagina is well lubricated, either with natural juices or some fporm of lubrication such as ID juicy lube (ID juicy lube – Lubricant – EdenFantasys).

Take it easy with the insertion, especially if the object you are using is larger than say a couple of fingers in diameter. Moving the dildo in and out gives a pleasant feeling but experiment with stirring actions and trying different angles of insertion. An angle where the head of the dildo is going to rub up the front wall of your vagina may be especially nice for you (it rubs on your ‘G’ spot). Working the dildo only takes one hand so it may be fun to use the other elsewhere, such as on your clitoris. This is the most likely way to have an orgasm as few women orgasm from vaginal stimulation only (though it is nice). It can also be fun to combine a dildo with a vibrator at this point as well, or perhaps invest in the type of dildo that also vibrates.

As with all masturbation the key is to be comfortable. A few positions that may suit you include:
Standing with one foot raised on something like a chair so that you can get access.

Lying on the floor or on a bed with both legs drawn up and knees spread

Kneeling with knees wide apart. This can be enhanced by having a soft chair to lean forward onto. If the dildo is long enough to touch the floor and be inside you at the same, this can be an especially nice position, as pelvic thrusts will move the shaft inside your vagina without you needing to use your hands at all leaning back against a wall with your legs spread.

Dildos can also be used externally to good effect, especially the softer latex/silicone types that are commercially available. To try this option grease up your dildo with plenty of lube, place it in a flat surface that you can straddle (pile of cushions, arm of a sofa, edge of a bath tub etc) and sit on it so that it runs the length of your vulva from clitoris to anus. Slide your body back and forth so that your weight pushes your clitoris and other sensitive parts down onto the shaft as it slides through between your labia majora, and slide to and fro. If this becomes tiring then hold the position, grab the end of the dildo that is sticking out the front and work it back and forth against yourself.

It is worth considering issues of dildo size, especially if you are going to spend on a commercial one. First don’t believe the myth that bigger is always better. The best is the one that suites you and that may be a long thin one, a short fat one or a long fat one (especially for those of us that have had children). Keep in mind that narrower shafts are easier to insert and allow faster stroking, whereas thicker ones take more inserting and are usually harder to work in and out, though they do give a pleasant ’stuffed’ sensation. The bottom line is be realistic in deciding what you need and what you can handle before you buy, unless you can afford a selection!