Guide to Performing Cunnilingus

I wanted to add a little more to the previous post, where one of my readers wanted to know how to get her man to perform cunnilingus. There is possibly another reason a man wouldn’t want to do it, and that is because he doesn’t know how.

See contrary to what we as women think and what most men want us to believe, cunnilingus is NOT a natural born talent, it is a skill that must be practiced and perfected. This goes for lesbians as well, yes we as women all have a vagina but that doesn’t mean we as a woman necessarily know what to do to another woman to make her scream.

First understand that no two women are the same. So just because you were outstanding at eating out one woman doesn’t mean that you are going to be an award winning pussy eater for every woman. What does this mean then? It means that you can try your old techniques on a new partner but you better be ready to relearn your tactical skills. So what are you to do?

My favorite and most important recommendation, talk to your partner. Find out what it is she likes, what she wants. If you are with a woman that has never had anyone go down on her before you are in luck, you can offer your “expertise” on what you know so that you can discover together what she enjoys. But talk to one another. As for when should you have this discussion? Well if you spend anytime reading you will find that there is various recommendations out there, either during sex or prior to sex or after sex. I say this, have the discussion when it feels right. If you are going to do it in the middle of sex then be prepared for the answers you are going to get and make sure that your partner is comfortable answering those questions.

Since cunnilingus or “oral love making” can go on for extended periods of time, both partners need to find a comfortable position to be in. For some couples, oral sex is the only form of sexual activity they engage in together, so finding a comfortable position is extremely important. The best are perhaps those in which the recipient is in a dominant position, which is kneeling or lying over their partner. This gives them the greatest freedom of movement and control. Ideally, both partners are fully relaxed during cunnilingus. If one or both partners are uncomfortable, it becomes more a chore than a pleasure. You do not want the person performing cunnilingus to get a sore or stiff neck holding their mouth up to their partner’s vulva. You do not want the recipient to get tired holding her own weight up for long periods of time. Take some time to find a comfortable position before actually starting to have sex. Your health, age, weight, and flexibility will determine which position(s) are best for you. Using a fancy position gains you nothing if you tire or your muscles become stiff and sore.

Different Positions:The recipient may want to kneel over her partner’s head, lowering her vulva down onto their mouth. She can either face away from or towards her partner’s feet. The position that works best will depend on the angle of her vulva, and the angle of her partner’s mouth. You may want to place a pillow under the head of the person performing cunnilingus, to raise it up to the level of the recipient’s vulva. You may want to place a big soft pillow, or a folded comforter/quilt under the recipient’s body so she can rest her weight on it while keeping her pelvis elevated. For extended sessions you do not want either of you to be actively supporting any part of your own or your partner’s body weight.

The recipient can also lie under her partner who is lying on or kneeling over her, head to toe.

The recipient may want to lie on a bed with her lower legs hanging over the edge. Her partner kneels on the floor between her spread legs. Pillows can be placed under the knees and/or chest of the person kneeling. The recipient may want to place a pillow under their hips to raise them up to mouth level.

Some couples may want to lie on their sides, side by side, head to toe. Placing their heads on each other’s thigh.

Other couples may need to lie on the floor on their sides, at right angles forming a “T”, the performer lying their head on the inner thigh of the recipient. The recipient may need to prop their upper, bent, leg on a couple of pillows. The person performing cunnilingus can either lie in front of or behind the recipient.

Of course there is always the traditional position where the recipient lies on her back with legs spread, her partner lying between her legs. Pillows can be placed under the recipient’s head to raise it up so she can watch her partner, or her hips can be elevated with pillows. The person performing cunnilingus can also rest the weight of their chest on a pillow if needed.

The actual techniques employed vary from couple to couple. The sensitivity of a woman’s vulva and clitoris will determine what type of stimulation she likes and is most responsive to. There are women who like a slow soft touch, others like a fast firm touch. The structure of her genitals will determine what is possible. A woman with well-developed inner labia may like to have them sucked on; a woman with small or absent inner labia will not be able to experience this. If a woman has clitoris that projects outward or is well developed, her partner will be able to suck on it like a small penis. If a woman has a small or hidden clitoris, her partner may only be able to lap at it. There is one important rule though, unless you intend to tease her, keep up your rhythm and intensity once you start bringing her close to orgasm. Nothing upsets a woman more during cunnilingus than having her partner break their rhythm, or wander off the spot, when they are on the verge of orgasm.

DO NOT

seek out a woman’s clitoris immediately. If a woman is not adequately aroused her clitoris will either be overly sensitive or totally insensitive to all forms of stimulation. You need to wait for her hormones to get flowing and for her genitals to become engorged with blood. Make a slow and lengthy journey to her clitoris. Discover her clitoris by accident. Caress, kiss, and lick her inner thighs. Gently lick the area where her vulva and inner thighs come together. Slowly lick her pubic mound and outer labia. Take your time. Run your tongue along the grove created by the meeting of her outer labia. Slip your tongue between her inner and outer labia. If possible, draw her inner labia into your mouth and suck on them; gently draw blood into them. Lick the area between her inner labia; the area just outside her vagina and the location of the urethral orifice. If her clitoral body is well defined, run your tongue along the groves that separates it from her outer labia.

When she is dripping wet and begging for more, very gently start licking her clitoris. Do not retract her hood at first. Give her time to get highly aroused. When she seems ready to explode slip her clitoral hood back with your lubricated fingers, or she can use her own, and lick and suck on her exquisitely sensitive clitoral glands. Be very gentle. There are women who require a very light touch; others will find this ticklish and will require a firm but gentle touch. Still others will not be able to tolerate direct stimulation of their clitoral glands. Gently suck on her clitoris; delicately draw more blood into it. Once you find a form of stimulation that is pleasurable for her, maintain that stimulation until she experiences orgasm, if one is desired. If she is not able to experience orgasm, continue the stimulation for as long as it is pleasurable for the both of you. Cunnilingus need not include orgasm for it to be very pleasurable and satisfying.

Listen to Your Partner

 

If a woman already knows what she likes, listen to her instructions. If she has never experienced cunnilingus, or at least a pleasurable session, slow experimentation is in order. Even couples who are quite in tune with each other may at times want to try new techniques. When you experiment, try moving your tongue over her vulva in every manner you can think of. There are lots of ways, and there is only one way to find out what works best for her, trial and error.

If both partners are in a comfortable position and fully relaxed, you may not be able to spread the woman’s outer labia to get at the treasures within, using your hands, so you will need to bury your face her in vulva, finding her clitoris and inner labia with your lips and tongue. A woman may be able assist with her own hands, but this too may be tiring. If a woman’s legs are comfortably spread her vulva will spread open naturally and her outer labia draw apart when she is highly aroused.

Since your tongue may grow tired, be sure to use your lips and tongue to caress and suck on her delicate tissues in alternation. If you extend your tongue fully, and you are not accustomed to this, your tongue will soon get tired. It is better to get your mouth as close to her clitoris and labia as possible. Use short strokes with you tongue slightly extended.

A woman may enjoy it when you insert your tongue into her vagina and stimulate her vaginal walls. You may not be able to insert your tongue very far, but usually the most sensitive tissues are near the entrance anyway. There are women who enjoy it when you insert your finger(s) into her vagina and stimulate her vaginal walls, and possibly her G-Spot, while you suck on her clitoris. Some enjoy it when you insert your lubricated finger(s) into her anus and/or massage her anus while performing cunnilingus.

You can also include the use of dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs. A woman may enjoy the feeling of being stretched open or filled while being orally stimulated. A vibrator may make orgasm possible during cunnilingus when it would otherwise be impossible. While the vibrator alone may result in orgasm, the combination may be more pleasurable and result in a stronger orgasm.

Many couples enjoy engaging in the so called “69″ or “Ying/Yang” position during oral sex. These terms allude to the practice whereby both partners orally stimulating each other at the same time, lying head to toe. There are couples who find this very enjoyable, feeding off each other’s arousal and orgasm. Others find they cannot concentrate on what they are doing to their partner, and get so caught up in their own pleasure they forget to stimulate their partner. Some become so distracted by what they are doing that they themselves cannot experience orgasm. So again, only trial and error will tell you if this technique is suitable for you and your partner.

How To Get a Guy to Try Cunnilingis

I decided to write this post in response to a question from a reader. Asking my “expert” opinion on the matter of cunnilingus and how to get a man to perform it when he isn’t into it, he had tried it once and swore he would never do it again.

The best advice I can give you on any matter concerning sex and something you want to try or you want your partner to try is to talk to them. For this question specifically you should talk to your man and find out what it was that turned him off in the first place.

If you think about it, there are a number of reasons that a guy might not want to perform oral sex on girl. Perhaps their last experience was with someone that was less then hygienic, so odor and taste could be an issue. Maybe they didn’t like the feeling of the hair in their mouth and between their teeth. It could be that they have an issue with putting their mouth somewhere they feel it shouldn’t be. But talk to him and find out what the reason is, this will help you both find a way to try to overcome the aversion.

For example, if it is taste use a flavored lubricant. There are MANY different flavors, there is bound to be one that he would enjoy. As I have said in the past, make sure that you are clean, make sure that your hair is short or shaved which ever is your preference. You might also want to try a pair of edible panties. Try to make it as fun and enjoyable for him as possible.

If he likes getting a blow job I recommend offering to do a “69.” This way he is being gratified at the same time you are getting what you want. Ask him to try it just once with you and see if he still has the same feelings about. Sometimes to overcome a bad experience you have to dive right in and try it again.

17 Things Woman Do Wrong in Bed

While we as woman like to think that we never do anything wrong, and it is the man’s fault something didn’t go right. There are a few of us woman that realize yes, there are things that we do that can completely ruin sex. So to help all of you clueless women out there that want to think they are doing sex right, I am supplying you with a list of things that WOMAN do wrong in bed.

You may want to pay attention to these little tips… if you really want to keep you man from fantasizing about other woman. And before you write to me and complain that there are more things that woman do wrong then men listed… get over it. This isn’t Cosmo or Glamour, my goal isn’t to make you think you are doing everything right… I want you to know what you are doing wrong so that you can improve your sexual relationship.

1 Thinking he should be ready for sex whenever you want it

Just because men are supposed to have a high sex drive doesn’t mean that they want sex all the time! If you decide you want sex, and he isn’t in the mood, don’t feel offended and think that he’s doing it deliberately – he’s probably heard the same thing from you many more times! Instead, use your feminine charms to seduce him. Let’s face it, women will always know how to get a man interested……and if he really isn’t, the answer is in your hands. You know where your clit is, so use it.

2 Believing that kissing has to be sweet and romantic

Sometimes the force of his passion will seem overwhelming to you. Suppose you’d like to have a gentle romantic session of kissing? Then, when you start, he begins to get passionate and starts to kiss you, shall we say, rather energetically. What to do? Maybe in these circumstances you should just surrender to passion and leave the romance for later?

3 Thinking men are responsible for giving you an orgasm

Hey honey, it’s YOUR orgasm, not his. He can’t give it to you, he can only help you get there. And that’s true even though he might think it’s his job. So don’t sit back and do nothing – tell him what you want, and if he isn’t doing it properly, how you’d like it to be done. And above all, give him feedback. he’s not a mind-reader.

4 Wondering why he has to go to sleep after sex

It’s just natural. Sometimes he might want to cuddle you; sometimes he won’t. While your orgasm makes you want to talk, bond and exchange sweet nothings, he wants to sleep. You just have to accept it isn’t personal.

5 Never trying any new sex positions

Variety is the spice of life my dear. The last thing in the world that should be the same old same old is sex. Try new positions, you may find that not only is your man satisfied, but you might find that you orgasm sooner or more often. There are so many positions out there to try. Eventually sex will turn into a whirl wind of fluid movements and positioning changes that will turn the two of you on.

6 Expecting him to be romantic and charming all the time

Remember, neither man nor woman can live by romance alone – no matter what passes for it in your household. Sometimes a man’s just gotta be a man. And while that doesn’t mean he should never be romantic, it just isn’t in a man’s nature to be romantic all the time, much as you might like it. Think of it this way – it’s a bit like him expecting you to behave like a female porn star all the time.

7 Thinking sex is just about your pleasure

I guess a lot of women think men are selfish in bed, but then they don’t think how they might please a man…do you suck his cock? Ask him if he’d like to try a little role play? Find out what he likes to have done to him? If not, stop reading the sensational crap in women’s magazines, and start asking your partner what he wants, and consider what sex can offer both of you within your relationship! I mean really! You want him to ask you what you want and do what you want… honey you need to do the same for him.

8 Reading the sex articles in magazines and thinking the advice they give is any good

Believe me, you’re never going to learn anything useful from magazine articles entitled “Ways to drive a man wild in bed”. Websites like this one, though, well, that’s a different matter altogether. Seriously, the best way to enjoy sex is to be aroused. The best way to be aroused is to be emotionally connected and intimate with your partner. It really is that simple. Communication and connectedness… sometimes it needs to be all about him… sometimes is needs to be all about you… but every time you both should be walking away… or rolling over satisfied with amazing sex.

9 Moaning about when he pushes your head towards his penis for oral sex

Well, true, he could just ask you for it, but then on the other hand maybe he’s sent you enough signals to tell you what he wants and you just ignored them? Men like oral sex, they like it a lot, and they want you to give it to them. Do you have to do it everytime you have sex? No, but every other time… couldn’t you give in for the sake of his pleasure.

10 Lying there like a log

I don’t care if you agreed to a quick screw before going to work or falling asleep, the biggest turn off for a man is when the woman just lays there. Understand this, while he may be looking forward to being satisfied he also wants to know that you are into what is going on, that you are enjoying what he is doing. Move a little, squeeze a little… if he wanted a no response he would get a blow up doll.

By just laying there all you are telling him is that you aren’t all that interested in his pleasure or needs, you just want it done an over with. So when he starts looking for a woman that is going to respond to his touch and enjoy sex… you will have no one to blame but yourself.

11 Not shaving – at least occasionally

It could be he’s one of the guys who gets off on websites like hairiest-horniest-pussies.com But then again, he might like you to look a little bit feminine, with your legs shaved and your armpits waxed. I’m not saying you need to do this, and you certainly don’t need to shave your pussy if you don’t want, but surely it’s nice to destubble for him once in a while rather than just doing it when you go the spa, isn’t it? Besides which, if you don’t shave, why should he?

Ok… I want to add that shaving should go beyond legs and armpits. Ladies… I understand that not all of you want to have a hairless vagina… that’s fine… but you can trim it. Keeping the vaginal area well manicured is just as important as shaving your legs. There are electric razors that have different blades on them to help you trim…. get out a pair of scissors and trim the hair, when you shave your legs, shave into the pubic hair so get it away from the legs.

The shorter the hair the better stimulation you will get because you are more accessible. Plus, during oral sex he isn’t getting a mouth full of hair and walking away with dental floss. Keep it short… you don’t have to shave it all off, just trim it.

15 Not having sex when you’re on your period

If you don’t want to have sex when you’re bleeding – though you might even find it erotic – then give him the best damn blow job he has ever had. Take your shirt off, get between his legs, let your breasts tickle and massage his penis and let your lips and tongue take over from there.

If you are concerned about the mess afterwards, put a towel underneath you and a wet wash cloth by the bed side. You would be surprised just how exciting and pleasurable sex can be during that otherwise dreadful time of the month.

16 Not washing before sex

While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, it’s never as nice as it might be if one of you is a little – well, ripe. Take the time to prepare – even if it’s earlier in the day – if you plan to have sex. While a twelve hour unwashed body might be perfectly acceptable, and a twenty four hour old body fine if you aren’t planning on getting your faces into each other’s genitals, it’s only a matter of consideration for your partner to be clean when you get intimate.

17 Asking questions right after sex

After sex is when you are suppose to be laying there enjoying the closeness of one another, this is not the time for life conversations. So don’t ask about the kids, don’t ask about work, don’t ask about this or that… just lay there and enjoy being close… kiss, hug.. caress…

14 Mistakes Men Make in Bed

Sex can be great, but there are lots of little pitfalls to avoid, simple things which can be passion killers for most, if not all, women. Not all these pointers will apply to all relationships, but why not avoid potential problems by seeing if any of them apply to yours?

You would think that most of what is listed here is plain common sense…. but there are still men that will do atleast one of these “No-no’s” in bed and then wonder why their woman isn’t raving tot he neighbors about what a great lover he is.

So here are 14 tips that you should take to heart, if you really want to see or feel a change in the excitement in the bedroom.

1 Going for her sexual areas (clitoris, vulva, breasts) without arousing her up first

Women take longer to get aroused than men, and often find touch to their genitals or breasts without adequate foreplay to be simply irritating. If you dive straight onto her vulva, clitoris or breasts, because that’s what you’d like her to do with your penis, you’re probably going to find that while you might get a hand on her bits, you won’t be invited back to play again.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

There are times for passionate sex, and there are times for more romantic sex. But no matter what kind of sex you’re having, most women really appreciate a good kisser – it’s such a romantic and intimate act and, done well, it can communicate to a woman exactly how you feel about her. Most women think of kissing as one of the most romantic things there is, and they value a man who knows how to do it well. So learn how to kiss sensitively, put some feeling into your lips as you do it, and don’t just resort to sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around. And the position you’re using for sex has a bearing on this, as well: kissing just isn’t possible in some of the more exotic sex positions – so, if it’s romance you’re looking for, man on top sex is as good as any.

3 Touching her breasts, clitoris and vulva too hard, too soon

Women appreciate a gentle touch to the clitoris – it’s a very sensitive organ, and you can’t handle it in the way you want your penis to be touched and expect her to respond by getting aroused – she’s more likely to kick you out of bed! To some extent the same is true of her breasts and vulva – it’s best to work up to touching them by kissing and touching around them first. Women become aware of their desire to be touched sexually by being touched on their non-sexual areas first. So take it slowly, put feeling into what you’re doing, and above all treat her clitoris with care. When she gets near to orgasm, a direct touch may well be more acceptable, and indeed may be needed to make her come, but “slowly, slowly” should be your motto when you’re enjoying foreplay. Furthermore, when you’ve actually got to penetration, don’t stop touching her. Even when you’re having sex in one of the more impersonal positions – like rear entry, for example – you can run your hands appreciatively over her body. For maximum touching, try sex in the side by side position.

4 Forgetting she has a body beyond her genitals

By which we mean, a body with a lot of skin which you can touch, caress, stroke, massage and kiss. Women feel sensuous during sex and enjoy skin to skin contact – so if you don’t spend time touching her all over, in a variety of ways that please her, you’ll miss out on one of the fastest ways to get her aroused. And focus on what you’re doing – she’ll know if you’re thinking about the football game as you stroke her. Try the more loving sex positions like side by side to see how much you can both enjoy sensual touching during sex.

5 Not taking the time to locate her erogenous zones

The sensitive spots that make her shiver with delight might be behind her knees, in the crook of her elbows, across her belly or on her earlobes, but if you don’t find them, she’ll assume you’re not really interested in her pleasure and probably mark you down as a second rate lover, selfishly concerned only with getting your cock into her vagina as soon as possible. Even if that last statement’s true, you need to take the time to find out what turns her on, and where those deliciously sensitive bits of her body are to be found. That’s the kind of thing that will make her see you as a considerate lover, and that will make her want to please you, which means you’ll have a much better time in bed. This knowledge will come in especially handy if you’re trying to go for a mutual orgasm while you make love: you can only get to her clitoris and breasts in certain positions. Once again, making love in the side by side position is probably a good way to ensure you can touch her erogenous zones – clitoris and breasts especially – while you make love.

6 Not paying attention to personal hygiene

This one right here should be a no-brainer! While there are the quick sex moments when the urge overtakes everything and the two of you just get down to business, this is not an everytime okay type of thing. Make sure that you are clean! Regardless of why that is, or even whether it’s right or wrong, just take note of the fact that if you turn up in bed with your armpits smelling of stale sweat, your foreskin harboring that special aroma, and your feet smelling like a slice of cheese, you’re not going to get much further until you’ve taken a quick trip to the bathroom.

7 Not shaving before sex

There’s nothing as unpleasant as a shaving rash – particularly when it comes from someone else’s stubble! Show her you care by shaving before sex, unless she’s expressed a desire to feel this sign of your manliness.

8 Trying to get into her before she’s ready or willing to be entered
One of the great things about sex is that it can vary so much from one occasion to another. This does, however, give you a problem. Sometimes you and she will want to get down to penetration and orgasm as quickly as possible; mostly, though, she’ll want things to work up to a climax more slowly. This means that no matter how eager you are to explore her vagina, you need to exercise some restraint. You need to skillfully judge the moment to enter her, whether with a finger or two, your penis, or indeed anything else, so that you don’t go in before she’s ready. By the way, that means before she’s mentally and emotionally ready – she may well be wet enough long before she wants anything put inside her vagina. You can judge this with experience by her desire, expressed in verbal or non-verbal form, to be penetrated. One helpful sign (apart from her begging you to put it inside her!) is a gentle wave like motion of her hips, or a kind of thrusting motion as she raises her vulva towards you..

9 Ejaculating two minutes after you enter her (or, worse, two seconds)

Sure, it can be difficult to control your ejaculation, to help you learn how to control your ejaculations you should spend some time reading http://artofintimacy.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/multiple-orgasms/ . Sex naturally involves a longish period of thrusting before a woman is fully satisfied. If you’re a quick ejaculator, you’re likely to have a very unfulfilled woman on your hands. She wants a long period of vaginal thrusting – unless she’s averse to penetration and intercourse – and she wants you to be able to control yourself so you don’t come before she’s satisfied. Indeed, that’s actually how sex should be for men: you should be able to choose when to ejaculate during intercourse. That’s how sex is meant to be.

10 Not giving her cunnilingus or masturbation

When you ask women to name their favorite sexual activity, many of them will say it’s oral sex. Women love the wetness, the warmth of your tongue on their labia and clitoris, the intimacy and the symbolic act of love that it entails. And it feels fantastic! So if you’re not making sure she gets enough “head”, you might just be leaving her disgruntled about how sex is going…..and the same is true if you don’t masturbate her from time to time. She’ll love you doing all these things, and she’ll return the favor in kind….

11 Stopping too soon, just as she’s getting to the point where she’s going to come

Men have a very clear route to orgasm in sex: they get aroused, they thrust, they get more aroused, they thrust harder, they ejaculate. It’s that simple. But it’s not like that for women: they can lose their arousal at any stage of sex, and it can slip away without warning. This makes it harder for men to know just what to do to keep their partner firmly on the road to orgasm – and what makes this worse is that women often get lost in their own sexual arousal, so they forget to tell their partner what they want. Your partner’s silence may be a sign of her sexual pleasure, but it’s not unreasonable to expect her to let you know how you’re doing – even if that’s only through moans of pleasure. She can communicate with you with single words (“yes”, “no”, “lighter”, “harder”, “faster”) no matter how aroused she is – and if she wants you to give her the maximum pleasure, then she needs to do this. What you need to do is keep going with your fingers, tongue, lips, vibrator or penis, and don’t stop – especially if she’s near her orgasm – keep going at all costs until she tips over into her orgasm!

12 Not respecting the precious moment of penetration

Men don’t always appreciate how much penetration means to a woman: it’s the ultimate act of trust and love, and when a woman to give her body to a man she makes a great emotional investment and perhaps takes a significant risk, especially with a new partner. So this act of love requires sensitivity on the part of the man – and that can be demonstrated in many ways: by looking into her eyes as you push your cock into her vagina; by asking if you may enter her (this can be a romantic and loving aspect of sex, but you probably won’t want to do it every time!); by taking her strongly with manly pride as her lover, when you know that’s what she’ll appreciate; by being sensitive to her needs at all times; and in many more ways as well, no doubt. The key thing is to penetrate her with respect and appreciate the honor she is paying you by taking your penis into her body. Penetrate her sensitively and mindfully every time you do it!

13 Pushing at random in the general area of her vulva with your erect cock

Nothing seems to be as much of a turn-off for a woman (apart possibly from an unwashed penis with a cheesy foreskin) as a man who can’t enter her gracefully. It’s not a problem if you occasionally have to ask her to guide you in! Indeed, if it’s a straight choice between you blindly pushing your penis at her for five minutes before you finally find her vagina, or just asking her to lend a helping hand….well, think about it. Which would you choose if you were in her position?

14 Thrusting hard until you come without thought for her pleasure

From a woman’s point of view, there’s nothing worse than a guy who gets so carried away with his own success (in getting into her in the first place) that he just thrusts away until he comes, without so much as a thought for what she might want. Certainly, there will be times when she is just happy to see you take your pleasure in her body, and come with a powerful and massive ejaculation, but most of the time she’s going to want to be in on the act in a more active way! So start slowly, see how she reacts to your thrusts, and if she obviously wants more of it, then speed up and thrust harder – unless you’re going to come too quickly, in which case you should learn how to control yourself. What she wants is a man in bed, not a two pump chump! You should be able to thrust for long enough to please your partner, at least some of the time, even if that means fifteen minutes’ thrusting before you ejaculate (possibly with a few breaks for rest). If you can’t go on for this long, or you can’t thrust hard enough to give her the pleasure she wants without coming yourself

Experiment with Quick Sex

You may find it interesting and exciting to know that you really don’t have to take hours to have exciting and satisfying sex. There is this wonderful thing called “quick sex.” People have done it for ages, in haystack, a phone booth, the swimming pool, the ocean, elevator… I am sure if you think about it you can come up with even more places. All you need is the desire to try something new and have really great sex really fast. According to the results of American psychologist’s researches, quick sex is getting more and more popular with sexually active men and women aged from 20 to 45.

I can throw a few statistics at you to help convince you:

42 per cent of respondents prefer quick sex during the day: in a private office, in the bathroom, in the balcony, in an underground garage

37 per cent like having quick sex early in the morning. On week days it is something like a habitual pleasant procedure before the first cup of coffee.

15 per cent like making fast love at night after work. They use it as a mean to relax after a hectic working day.

Only 6 per cent of respondents turned out to prefer classical long night sex.. However, even these long love admirers consider that nights spent on getting the desired pleasure are for those who suffer from chronic insomnia.

Believe it or not we as Americans even have a “Top Ten” of places that we like to have quick sex the best. I am providing the list, but necessarily in order:

1. Mom’s bedroom – okay I just think this is a “no-no”, but many people seem to like it.

2. Back seat of car

3. Public Restroom

4. In the sea on a hydrocycle

5. On the dinner table – can we say dessert first please!

6. Fitting room in a department store.

7. Elevator – who hasn’t had this fantasy? Obivously many people are living out that fantasy… might want to think about that the next time you’re in an elevator… not leaning on the walls.

8. Taxi/Cab

9. The bosses office – not neccessarily with the boss… but there are many people that opt for that as well.

10. On a grand piano – we all remember Pretty Woman

Now, not every woman in the world is going to be able to orgasm in three minutes, which about the amount of time you have in a stuck elevator… so to help the process along woman need to not think about being conventional… do what your body tells you, do what your body wants. There are a number of positions that can help such as when the man enters the woman from behind. This position has two fold benefits… for the woman, the man is able to penetrate deeper and his penis will be able to stimulate the front wall of the vagina. For the man, he gets to live out that deep dark fantasy of having rough sex with an unknown woman.

For all of you woman out there looking for a way to blow your man away and make him beg for more, then quick sex is the answer. If you are married and feel like your sex life has reached that mundane point where it is the same old thing every time you have sex… I highly recommend that you be the initiator and seduce your husband in the kitchen, the living room, your home office… Worried about the kids, send them to play… tease your husband… be playful… a few suggestive comments and playful massages… rubbing up against him… as the kids go out the door you can easily give him the best blow job of his life and finish off with some quick sex.

Your sex life needs diversity. This doesn’t mean different people, sleeping around… this means throwing caution to the wind and experimenting. This is vital to a healthy happy sex life.

Now there are many sites, books, magazine and “experts” that have been telling men for years that sex needs to be delightful and long for a woman to enjoy. Guess what, yes we as woman enjoy foreplay… there are times when we like to take it slow and make it last for hours… but there are also other times when we want it just as quick as a man. So I have two recommendations here first for the men, talk to your woman… find out what it is she wants and how quick… if you don’t want us to stereotype you then don’t stereotype us. Woman, come on… take charge… if you are really want quick sex you can think about what you are going to do to your husband all day so that the moment you have alone time together you can easily enjoy quick sex.

If you really don’t want to give up the foreplay… initiate the foreplay while he is at work. Thanks to the invention of email, IM’s and texting you can quickly send your man a suggestive, playful or dirty message that will help get the excitement going. You as a woman can think about what it is you want to do to your husband when he gets home. You can think about what he’ll do to you, this is mental foreplay.

According to the statistics, most women think that the best and unforgettable sex adventure is a spontaneous sex in a wrong place and wrong time. Take notice that only a few of them mention a whole night marathon according to all scientific rules and instructions. As it turns out, long foreplay that has been described in thousands of articles and books is nothing more than a fairy tale.

Statistics proves this fact: while masturbating a woman orgasms quicker than in three minutes, whereas while making love with a partner she achieves the same result within about 8 minutes. Very often a 25-40 year woman is ready for sex just looking at her partner’s hard penis, without any additional manipulations that are to take place before intercourse. I don’t know that I completely agree with the stats. I think there is more going on in the woman’s mind at the site of her aroused lover then just the fact that his penis is hard.

If you want to have an amazing sex life. Take chances, experiment… but most importantly COMMUNICATE with one another. If you don’t feel secure enough in your marriage or relationship with your partner to be able to tell them what you want, how you want it and how you like it… there are deeper issues then just sex.

Flower In Bloom: Tantric Sex Position

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Tantric sex positions are known for there ability to cause intense orgasms that reverberate down to the soul. Ok… you may not believe me, so I will tell you that they do at least cause orgasms that your entire body experiences.

However, Tantric sex positions do require a lot of physical dexterity and practice. One particular position is incredibly beneficial for the woman’s orgasm, it is called the Flower in Bloom position. Relax, if you haven’t tried this before know right now that you are going to need to practice this position in order to reap maximum benefits. Practice… hmm, that’s not so bad is it…

Here is a step by step guide that will help you practice this enticing and erotic position.

Step 1: Take off all of your clothes. Have your partner take off all of thier clothes… if you want to make it even more sexy, undress for one another or each of you undress the other. Remember this all about mind and body working together.

Step 2: the woman should lay down on the bed or the floor.

Step 3: Draw your knees up to your breasts.

Step 4: Rest your feet against your man’s armpits. The man should be sitting on his heels in front of your legs.

Step 5: Put your hands under your butt and lift you butt a few inches in the air.

Step 6: Spread your thighs as far apart as they will comfortably go.

Step 7: Pull your heels back until they are touching your hips or they are as close to your hips as you can get them.

Step 8: Continue to hold butt up in this position while your partner enters you. As he is thrusting you should be pushing back against him. Continue until the two of you have reached orgasm together.

If you like this position stay tuned for a few more “How To’s” in the sex position department.

A Journey Into a Woman’s Self Discovery: Part 3

This is the final installment of our mini series. The final masturbation methods are, well less then common, but they are still recommended techniques. They work for some… others may not even consider these options. But if you aren’t interested in buying sex toys then you might find one of these methods more desirable.

Humping

Humping is thrusting your genitals against something hard or at least firm. Some examples of this include:

Sliding Along the Edge of the Bath Tub

Sitting on a pillow or cushion or similar and rocking the hips back and forth. Lying face down with something like a chair leg pressed up against your vulva. Thrusting up and down to cause your clitoris to rub on the leg. A nicely shaped leg, with ridges etc, can be very pleasurable.

Floor Riding

Strip off and lie on the floor face down. It works best if you are shaved down there but it works if you are hairy too. Press your pubic bone into the floor as hard as you can and rock your body like you are trying to crawl but don’t work hard enough to actually move from the spot. The flesh on your pubis will be alternately pulled tight and made slack. This transmits to your clitoris through the outer lips and feels great after a minute or two. (Extra bonus – it is a good exercise for your waist too)

There is a range of techniques that all involve moving a cord or something similar back and forward along your vulva.

Some examples:
Take a stocking or a pair of tights and hold the foot in one hand behind your back, let the fabric drape between your legs and hold the other end in your other hand at the front. The material should then be pulled up into the crotch so that it works into your vulva. Pulling it gently backwards and forwards causes it to stimulate your clitoris in a divine way.

Using a cord off a dressing gown or a length of ribbon in the same way as detailed above is also fun. If the ribbon is to be specially purchased for this sort of play, try and get one about an inch wide and a yard long. One with the little edge loops is also worth considering. If its an option, try oiling the material up before playing by rubbing a little lubricant along it’s length.

A long bead necklace or a synthetic pearl string can be great for this too. The knobs feel great as they slide by.
Tie a cord/ribbon/etc between the backs of two chairs so that it is suspended at crotch height. Step across, position the cord along your vulva and walk back and forward.

Tickling

Masturbation need not be a hurried thing. If you have plenty of time, the excitement can be built up to amazing levels, and orgasms made stronger, if you go really slowly and tease yourself to a climax. The secret of this is light stimulation rather than the direct/intense stuff discussed earlier. Some recommended tickling tools are listed below.

Makeup brush

The very large and super soft round headed brushes that are designed for putting on powder foundation make wonderful masturbation tools. First wash yourself well and dry your clitoris and vulva thoroughly. Then, spread out on the bed/floor so that your vulva is wide open. With very light flicking strokes tickle your clitoris and inner lips with the bristles of the brush. Stay away from your vaginal entrance as it will probably be/become moist and this moistness will collect on the brush and spoil the delicate stimulation it gives.

Important – after a while the sensitivity of your clitoris will increase and you will feel like finishing yourself off quickly. Don’t be tempted. The longer this stage lasts the greater the tension will be when you do cum and so the more explosive the climax. No matter how badly you want to drop the brush and finish yourself off quickly stick with the gentle flicking.
Feather

A nice long quill, as long as it is clean, can be great fun. Apart from the flicking and brushing actions described above you can also enjoy a pulling the feather along your vulva like an extension of a single finger. As the feather is less susceptible dampness than a brush you don’t need to keep away from your vagina so much. The great thing is that as you get more aroused and feel like pressing on harder the feather simply flexes and so the level of stimulation stays the same.

A Journey Into a Woman’s Self Discovery: Part 2

Vibrators

Sex toys come in very hand for the woman who take a while to reach orgasm. Constantly using the more manual methods can be tiring and cause a certain amount of wrist fatigue. For these woman, many times this leads them to stop a good session before they climax. So if you have been disappointed by your own short comings I would recommend investing in a Vibrators

There are basically two different types of vibrators, battery operated and those that need to be plugged in. It doesn’t matter which type you choose.

It’s a good idea not to use a vibrator directly on your clitoris the first time you ever try one because of this. You might well find that the stimulation they afford is too intense, so I’d suggest that you first try placing ( Playgirl aqua G – Rabbit vibrators ) it on your labia or your mons. You may even want to try using it whilst you have your panties on as this can produce a different more subtle sensation than direct clitoral contact. Don’t be afraid to try new things, they aren’t called sex toys for nothing. The idea is to have fun and find what works for you personally.

One thing that is often over looked when people first try vibrators is (Sex toys reviews – Universal lube – Silicone based lubricants – Sex lubricants ) lubricants. Just simply adding a small amount of lubricant on your chosen toy before you begin playing can greatly enhance your experience. Just be sure that the lubricant is suitable for use with the vibrator of your choice.

Thigh squeezing

Some women can achieve sexual pleasure — even orgasm — by simply squeezing or rubbing their thighs together, thus indirectly stimulating the clitoris. This technique can even be used in public! Without risk as there is nothing to show what you are doing and you can remain fully dressed! Long bus ride? Boring desk job or classroom? No problem!

Suggestions for getting started: When masturbating at home, make it a habit to press together your thighs when you orgasm. After that becomes second-nature, press your thighs when you can’t stop yourself from having an orgasm (but haven’t yet), and then pull your hands away — leave it up to your legs to ride yourself over the top. You’re bound to have a few frustrating flameouts, but the practice is worth it. Eventually, with the help of fantasy and association, you’ll be able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation process.

Dildo play

A word of warning here. Care should always be taken when inserting any object into yourself. Excessive size or over enthusiastic movements can cause internal bruising or worse. Small objects or items that can break or shed parts can cause real problems, such as cutting or internal losses, both of which could require medical assistance to fix. Hygiene too has to be considered. Any germs on an inserted item are going to get into you and could cause infections of various types, it is often a good idea to place a condom over your chosen object. So be warned, if you want to insert something make sure it’s safe.

Whatever you choose to insert, it will technically be a dildo, as (Ty Fox realistic cock – Realistic dildos ) dildo is the name for a substitute penis used for penetrative masturbation.

First off, try to ensure your vagina is well lubricated, either with natural juices or some fporm of lubrication such as ID juicy lube (ID juicy lube – Lubricant – EdenFantasys).

Take it easy with the insertion, especially if the object you are using is larger than say a couple of fingers in diameter. Moving the dildo in and out gives a pleasant feeling but experiment with stirring actions and trying different angles of insertion. An angle where the head of the dildo is going to rub up the front wall of your vagina may be especially nice for you (it rubs on your ‘G’ spot). Working the dildo only takes one hand so it may be fun to use the other elsewhere, such as on your clitoris. This is the most likely way to have an orgasm as few women orgasm from vaginal stimulation only (though it is nice). It can also be fun to combine a dildo with a vibrator at this point as well, or perhaps invest in the type of dildo that also vibrates.

As with all masturbation the key is to be comfortable. A few positions that may suit you include:
Standing with one foot raised on something like a chair so that you can get access.

Lying on the floor or on a bed with both legs drawn up and knees spread

Kneeling with knees wide apart. This can be enhanced by having a soft chair to lean forward onto. If the dildo is long enough to touch the floor and be inside you at the same, this can be an especially nice position, as pelvic thrusts will move the shaft inside your vagina without you needing to use your hands at all leaning back against a wall with your legs spread.

Dildos can also be used externally to good effect, especially the softer latex/silicone types that are commercially available. To try this option grease up your dildo with plenty of lube, place it in a flat surface that you can straddle (pile of cushions, arm of a sofa, edge of a bath tub etc) and sit on it so that it runs the length of your vulva from clitoris to anus. Slide your body back and forth so that your weight pushes your clitoris and other sensitive parts down onto the shaft as it slides through between your labia majora, and slide to and fro. If this becomes tiring then hold the position, grab the end of the dildo that is sticking out the front and work it back and forth against yourself.

It is worth considering issues of dildo size, especially if you are going to spend on a commercial one. First don’t believe the myth that bigger is always better. The best is the one that suites you and that may be a long thin one, a short fat one or a long fat one (especially for those of us that have had children). Keep in mind that narrower shafts are easier to insert and allow faster stroking, whereas thicker ones take more inserting and are usually harder to work in and out, though they do give a pleasant ’stuffed’ sensation. The bottom line is be realistic in deciding what you need and what you can handle before you buy, unless you can afford a selection!

A Journey Into a Woman’s Self Discovery: Part 1

It is inevitable that the vast majority of females learn how to achieve orgasm through masturbation. (As you recall in another post here at Sinful Indulgence we did a piece for men who wanted to become multi-orgasmic and for them, practice was usually easiest through masturbation.) Today we are going to begin our series on masturbation for woman.

It may interest many people to learn that there are many different methods of masturbation. It’s important that everyone educate themselves about the different methods… yes I know, you have dirty little thoughts running through your head right now… if you are a man you may even be saying that “My woman doesn’t need to do it. I completely satisfy her…” That may be true in some cases… but for a man to learn the different techniques a woman would use to get herself off, you could actually help turn up the heat… and make sure that she is really achieving orgasm by making “faking it” so NOT an option.

Fingers

The fingers are probably the first thing that most girls use. It happens by chance really, innocently touching their genitals. So it shouldn’t be that big of a surprise to learn that the most common method is hand and finger… it is also the easiest method because you don’t need any extra equipment. Here are three positions that make finger and hand stimulation the easiest.

Lying on the bed facing up with legs together and ankles crossed. Index finger slipped between the labia majora so that it presses along the length of the clitoris. Gentle but firm wrist movements to make the inserted finger rub the clitoris in up and down, side to side and circular motions. Speed and strength of movement increased as excitement builds. Sensations increased by squeezing thigh muscles together at same time as finger rubbing clitoris.

Lying on back with legs drawn up and knees allowed to flop apart. Palm of hand placed on pubic mound and fingers allowed to rest on open vulva. Movement of hand to stimulate clitoris in side to side, up and down, circular and gentle pinching movements.

Lying face down on bed with both hands underneath and between legs. Fingers pressed against vulva and clitoris. Pelvic thrusts to move the genitals up and down against the fingers.

Sitting in a comfortable chair with legs well spread. Taking clitoris between the tips of both index fingers, rolling it around and pulling back on its hood to get maximum stimulation.

Water Play

Never underestimate the benefits of water. This is especially true when it comes to giving pleasure. There are many ways to masturbate in water, and we are going to go over a few of the options you have. Keep in mind men, that this could be a wonderful excuse to shower with your partner… maybe invest in a detachable shower head.

The Shower

Hmmm the shower head, this is the most common technique used in water play. This is where the hand held shower heads are very beneficial. You will want to make sure that you adjust the water temperature because you definitely don’t want the water to hot other wise you will be doing damage. Feel free to adjust the temperature during the encounter as your vagina gets used to the water. Next find a comfortable position, you can sit in the shower… lay in the bath tub… or you can stand.

Next take the shower head and use it to caress your whole body with the water. You will feel tingling sensation over your breasts. Imagine the sensations are being created by the hands of your lover and spray where you want to feel the touch. Slowly make your way down your torso to your vaginal area. Spreading your legs, let the water reach up and down the insides of your thighs, and when your ready for advancing, move it closer to your clit. Remember that direct contact with your clit may be overpowering, so try moving the water stream back and forth. Try bringing it closer, and moving it farther away to cover a larger area.

The Tub

Now we can move onto the bathtub. Like the shower head the bathtub holds many ways to excite and masturbate. Many women enjoy lying on their backs in their bathtub and allowing the water from the faucet to wash over their vagina. This isn’t always the easiest of positions to achieve but it can be great fun.

Fill the tub with water about halfway. Lie on your back, and bring your buttocks up so they are against or almost against the end of the tub with the faucet. Position your vagina as directly below the faucet as possible. Adjust the temperature and pressure of the water flow to your liking; you might have to tilt up your pelvis to bring your vagina closer to the water flow of the faucet. It might help to use one or both hands to spread open your labia (vagina “lips”) so the water can flow directly onto your clitoris. Just one word of warning here, make sure the water isn’t too hot! There is nothing worse that scolding your pussy and it certainly isn’t pleasurable. Once you have found the right position, lie back, relax, fantasize, and enjoy!

The Hot Tub

If your lucky enough to own a hot tub/Jacuzzi,then the chances are you’re already aware of the wonderful effects that the water that flows from it’s jets can have on your body. Begin by simply relaxing in the tub and allowing the water to wash over you. Fantasize, about the special someone touching your breasts. Once aroused, turn towards the water jets and position the vagina/clitoris so it’s directly in the path of the flowing water. A word of caution here: Never position yourself to close to the jet, as the flow of water is normally very strong from these jets. Begin by placing a fair amount of distance between yourself and the water jet and then move closer until you discover a spot that places just the right amount of pressure on your clitoris. Once you’ve found the right position, relax and enjoy the soothing sensation of the water as it washes over your body.

In the next post we will take a look at three more techniques including the use of vibrator, dildos and how to effective squeeze your thighs.

Couple Pleasuring

Few people realize that there is actually an art to pleasing your partner. That is a large goal of this site, to teach people how to please one another… and themselves.

 

To be able to properly please one another you need to make sure that you have created the proper space, this will help you achieve the desired result. Whenever you perform any of the tantric positions it is very important that you are on a stable and possible firm surface. Generally speaking, your bed is going to be to soft. Consider a yoga mat that is big enough for two people.

 

You may also want to light a few candles to provide a more intimate lighting. Thank the universe for the creation of MP3’s and iPods, they make selecting romantic mood stimulating music that will play during your pleasuring session. Having some quality massage oils and possible a water based lubricant would also help the pleasuring along.

 

Many couples decide that positions where the couple is sitting is ideal. While the position you choose is completely up to you, there are a few things to consider, accessibility and comfort. Neither of these components should be compromised.

 

Typically you can expect to keep the sitting position for awhile you should make certain then that the position you are in is not awkward for you. Naturally this calls for a little experimentation to start with so that you find your ideal position that provides comfort and accessibility to the genital areas.

 

A recommended position is sitting cross legged from each other. One partner might want to use the back of the couch or a wall for support. You also have the option of using flat firm pillows to sit on along with a mat so that you have proper back support.

 

To start the massage it is usually best for one partner to stroke the other and then the roles are reversed. As you are just beginning the massage you will want to limit the intensity… so you only want to incidentally touch the genital area. The whole goal of tantric sex and sensual massage is to slowly build desire and excitement within each partner. The incidentally touching coupled with stroking should last for about 15 minutes.

 

Once you are both aroused each partner should begin to focus their attention onto the genital area of one another. It is now that the woman will being the lingam massage on the man and the man will begin the Yoni massage on the woman. For couples that are of the same sex you will perform a mutual lingam or yoni massage.

 

While pleasuring one another the couple should attempt to make as much eye contact with one another as possible. This may be difficult as each partner may be distracted by the erotic vision of their own, as well as their partner’s genitals being stimulated.