Guide to Performing Cunnilingus

I wanted to add a little more to the previous post, where one of my readers wanted to know how to get her man to perform cunnilingus. There is possibly another reason a man wouldn’t want to do it, and that is because he doesn’t know how.

See contrary to what we as women think and what most men want us to believe, cunnilingus is NOT a natural born talent, it is a skill that must be practiced and perfected. This goes for lesbians as well, yes we as women all have a vagina but that doesn’t mean we as a woman necessarily know what to do to another woman to make her scream.

First understand that no two women are the same. So just because you were outstanding at eating out one woman doesn’t mean that you are going to be an award winning pussy eater for every woman. What does this mean then? It means that you can try your old techniques on a new partner but you better be ready to relearn your tactical skills. So what are you to do?

My favorite and most important recommendation, talk to your partner. Find out what it is she likes, what she wants. If you are with a woman that has never had anyone go down on her before you are in luck, you can offer your “expertise” on what you know so that you can discover together what she enjoys. But talk to one another. As for when should you have this discussion? Well if you spend anytime reading you will find that there is various recommendations out there, either during sex or prior to sex or after sex. I say this, have the discussion when it feels right. If you are going to do it in the middle of sex then be prepared for the answers you are going to get and make sure that your partner is comfortable answering those questions.

Since cunnilingus or “oral love making” can go on for extended periods of time, both partners need to find a comfortable position to be in. For some couples, oral sex is the only form of sexual activity they engage in together, so finding a comfortable position is extremely important. The best are perhaps those in which the recipient is in a dominant position, which is kneeling or lying over their partner. This gives them the greatest freedom of movement and control. Ideally, both partners are fully relaxed during cunnilingus. If one or both partners are uncomfortable, it becomes more a chore than a pleasure. You do not want the person performing cunnilingus to get a sore or stiff neck holding their mouth up to their partner’s vulva. You do not want the recipient to get tired holding her own weight up for long periods of time. Take some time to find a comfortable position before actually starting to have sex. Your health, age, weight, and flexibility will determine which position(s) are best for you. Using a fancy position gains you nothing if you tire or your muscles become stiff and sore.

Different Positions:The recipient may want to kneel over her partner’s head, lowering her vulva down onto their mouth. She can either face away from or towards her partner’s feet. The position that works best will depend on the angle of her vulva, and the angle of her partner’s mouth. You may want to place a pillow under the head of the person performing cunnilingus, to raise it up to the level of the recipient’s vulva. You may want to place a big soft pillow, or a folded comforter/quilt under the recipient’s body so she can rest her weight on it while keeping her pelvis elevated. For extended sessions you do not want either of you to be actively supporting any part of your own or your partner’s body weight.

The recipient can also lie under her partner who is lying on or kneeling over her, head to toe.

The recipient may want to lie on a bed with her lower legs hanging over the edge. Her partner kneels on the floor between her spread legs. Pillows can be placed under the knees and/or chest of the person kneeling. The recipient may want to place a pillow under their hips to raise them up to mouth level.

Some couples may want to lie on their sides, side by side, head to toe. Placing their heads on each other’s thigh.

Other couples may need to lie on the floor on their sides, at right angles forming a “T”, the performer lying their head on the inner thigh of the recipient. The recipient may need to prop their upper, bent, leg on a couple of pillows. The person performing cunnilingus can either lie in front of or behind the recipient.

Of course there is always the traditional position where the recipient lies on her back with legs spread, her partner lying between her legs. Pillows can be placed under the recipient’s head to raise it up so she can watch her partner, or her hips can be elevated with pillows. The person performing cunnilingus can also rest the weight of their chest on a pillow if needed.

The actual techniques employed vary from couple to couple. The sensitivity of a woman’s vulva and clitoris will determine what type of stimulation she likes and is most responsive to. There are women who like a slow soft touch, others like a fast firm touch. The structure of her genitals will determine what is possible. A woman with well-developed inner labia may like to have them sucked on; a woman with small or absent inner labia will not be able to experience this. If a woman has clitoris that projects outward or is well developed, her partner will be able to suck on it like a small penis. If a woman has a small or hidden clitoris, her partner may only be able to lap at it. There is one important rule though, unless you intend to tease her, keep up your rhythm and intensity once you start bringing her close to orgasm. Nothing upsets a woman more during cunnilingus than having her partner break their rhythm, or wander off the spot, when they are on the verge of orgasm.

DO NOT

seek out a woman’s clitoris immediately. If a woman is not adequately aroused her clitoris will either be overly sensitive or totally insensitive to all forms of stimulation. You need to wait for her hormones to get flowing and for her genitals to become engorged with blood. Make a slow and lengthy journey to her clitoris. Discover her clitoris by accident. Caress, kiss, and lick her inner thighs. Gently lick the area where her vulva and inner thighs come together. Slowly lick her pubic mound and outer labia. Take your time. Run your tongue along the grove created by the meeting of her outer labia. Slip your tongue between her inner and outer labia. If possible, draw her inner labia into your mouth and suck on them; gently draw blood into them. Lick the area between her inner labia; the area just outside her vagina and the location of the urethral orifice. If her clitoral body is well defined, run your tongue along the groves that separates it from her outer labia.

When she is dripping wet and begging for more, very gently start licking her clitoris. Do not retract her hood at first. Give her time to get highly aroused. When she seems ready to explode slip her clitoral hood back with your lubricated fingers, or she can use her own, and lick and suck on her exquisitely sensitive clitoral glands. Be very gentle. There are women who require a very light touch; others will find this ticklish and will require a firm but gentle touch. Still others will not be able to tolerate direct stimulation of their clitoral glands. Gently suck on her clitoris; delicately draw more blood into it. Once you find a form of stimulation that is pleasurable for her, maintain that stimulation until she experiences orgasm, if one is desired. If she is not able to experience orgasm, continue the stimulation for as long as it is pleasurable for the both of you. Cunnilingus need not include orgasm for it to be very pleasurable and satisfying.

Listen to Your Partner

 

If a woman already knows what she likes, listen to her instructions. If she has never experienced cunnilingus, or at least a pleasurable session, slow experimentation is in order. Even couples who are quite in tune with each other may at times want to try new techniques. When you experiment, try moving your tongue over her vulva in every manner you can think of. There are lots of ways, and there is only one way to find out what works best for her, trial and error.

If both partners are in a comfortable position and fully relaxed, you may not be able to spread the woman’s outer labia to get at the treasures within, using your hands, so you will need to bury your face her in vulva, finding her clitoris and inner labia with your lips and tongue. A woman may be able assist with her own hands, but this too may be tiring. If a woman’s legs are comfortably spread her vulva will spread open naturally and her outer labia draw apart when she is highly aroused.

Since your tongue may grow tired, be sure to use your lips and tongue to caress and suck on her delicate tissues in alternation. If you extend your tongue fully, and you are not accustomed to this, your tongue will soon get tired. It is better to get your mouth as close to her clitoris and labia as possible. Use short strokes with you tongue slightly extended.

A woman may enjoy it when you insert your tongue into her vagina and stimulate her vaginal walls. You may not be able to insert your tongue very far, but usually the most sensitive tissues are near the entrance anyway. There are women who enjoy it when you insert your finger(s) into her vagina and stimulate her vaginal walls, and possibly her G-Spot, while you suck on her clitoris. Some enjoy it when you insert your lubricated finger(s) into her anus and/or massage her anus while performing cunnilingus.

You can also include the use of dildos, vibrators, and butt plugs. A woman may enjoy the feeling of being stretched open or filled while being orally stimulated. A vibrator may make orgasm possible during cunnilingus when it would otherwise be impossible. While the vibrator alone may result in orgasm, the combination may be more pleasurable and result in a stronger orgasm.

Many couples enjoy engaging in the so called “69″ or “Ying/Yang” position during oral sex. These terms allude to the practice whereby both partners orally stimulating each other at the same time, lying head to toe. There are couples who find this very enjoyable, feeding off each other’s arousal and orgasm. Others find they cannot concentrate on what they are doing to their partner, and get so caught up in their own pleasure they forget to stimulate their partner. Some become so distracted by what they are doing that they themselves cannot experience orgasm. So again, only trial and error will tell you if this technique is suitable for you and your partner.

How To Get a Guy to Try Cunnilingis

I decided to write this post in response to a question from a reader. Asking my “expert” opinion on the matter of cunnilingus and how to get a man to perform it when he isn’t into it, he had tried it once and swore he would never do it again.

The best advice I can give you on any matter concerning sex and something you want to try or you want your partner to try is to talk to them. For this question specifically you should talk to your man and find out what it was that turned him off in the first place.

If you think about it, there are a number of reasons that a guy might not want to perform oral sex on girl. Perhaps their last experience was with someone that was less then hygienic, so odor and taste could be an issue. Maybe they didn’t like the feeling of the hair in their mouth and between their teeth. It could be that they have an issue with putting their mouth somewhere they feel it shouldn’t be. But talk to him and find out what the reason is, this will help you both find a way to try to overcome the aversion.

For example, if it is taste use a flavored lubricant. There are MANY different flavors, there is bound to be one that he would enjoy. As I have said in the past, make sure that you are clean, make sure that your hair is short or shaved which ever is your preference. You might also want to try a pair of edible panties. Try to make it as fun and enjoyable for him as possible.

If he likes getting a blow job I recommend offering to do a “69.” This way he is being gratified at the same time you are getting what you want. Ask him to try it just once with you and see if he still has the same feelings about. Sometimes to overcome a bad experience you have to dive right in and try it again.

Butterfly Position

If you are looking for the ultimate sexual position, look no further. This is the one that is damn near guaranteed to get the woman off every time.

How to Do

This is not exactly the easiest position in the world to perform. It is not the most difficult that there is, but it is definitely up there.

The position is done by having the woman lie on her back, she then lifts her legs and rest her feet on his shoulders. Her hips and back are then elevated by the males arms as he lifts her vagina so that it lines up with his penis.

It is good to have about a foot distance between the male’s penis and the platform the woman is lying on. This can be found on a bed for example. The male stands off the bed while he lifts the woman lying on it up to his height.

When the woman is at the right height, just her upper back and head should be resting on the bed still. The male then slides into her and thrusts. Because of the angles involved, it is unlikely that the male will manage to get very deep at all. This is a good thing, the result is that his thrusting power is aimed directly at the G-Spot.

The Man’s Role

It is the male’s job to do most of the work in this position. Begin by lifting your partner off the bed or whatever surface is being used. Grab her by the hips or under her buttocks in order to do this better. Position her vagina so that it is about the same height as your penis.
Place the penis at the outside of the vagina and then slowly begin thrusting forward. This will cause the penis to push against the top wall of the vagina, thus stimulating the G-Spot. The male may also wish to vary his thrusting pattern and depth in this position. The man may want to start by doing 3-4 shallow thrusts followed by one deep full thrust and work his way towards many deep thrusts followed by 1-2 shallow ones.

The Woman’s Role

There isn’t much for the woman to actually do while in this position. The main thing she should do is to pay attention to where her legs and feet are. A very common place for them while in this position is on top of the male’s shoulders or just coming off the male’s mid-section. Try to support your own body in whatever way possible in order to take some of the stress off your partner.

This Position is Good because….

It is all a matter of angles. Because of the angle of the male’s penis and the woman’s body, the male is able to stimulate the woman’s g-spot very well with his penis during sex. It does not take too much of this stimulation to get the woman leaving finger nail marks down the males arms.
Because the man has control of the thrusting he can control his speed to orgasm. This is good news for the individual who fears losing control of ejaculation. A ‘trigger-happy’ man can thus stop when he feels ejaculation approaching, and a man who needs a great deal of thrusting to maintain his erection will also benefit.

Trying to Conceive

The man-on-top sex positions are very good for couples who are trying to have a baby, because penetration can be very deep. If the woman holds on to her legs behind her knees and draws her thighs right back, sperm can be deposited deep in the vagina – at the neck of the womb. This provided the best chance of conception occurring.
If the woman stays lying down after sex, with a pillow under her hips, the semen stands the best possible chance of entering her cervix, and the sperm will then be able to fertilize an egg.

Advantages of the Butterfly

When you’re in the mood for quality, because-you’re-worth-it climaxing, bust out our brand-new Butterfly – named for unequaled ecstasy without high-energy commitment
Both partners can see each other and make eye contact, thereby receiving feedback from their facial expressions, breathing, and vocalizations

The pelvic tilt gives his penis better access to your G-spot and builds in more friction for both of you

This position can be intensely romantic, when done very slowly, it’s said to be completely dreamlike..the result? An orgasm that takes fantasy-worthy flight

A relatively quick male orgasm can be achieved if so desired; conversely, the greater control afforded the man enables him to delay his orgasm and thereby prolong the copulatory act

The woman may enjoy the sensation of submission to the male and the freedom to caress him as she chooses

The woman is able to either hasten or delay both her orgasm and that of her partner through voluntary, rhythmic flexation and relaxation of the pubococcygeus muscles surrounding her vagina

Excellent visual stimulation for the man

Fairly deep penetration

Very relaxing for the woman

Disadvantages of the Butterfly

It can be difficult for partners to manually stimulate the clitoris

This position sometimes produces a quick male orgasm (premature ejaculation)

Some women do not enjoy the possibly submissive sensation of being under their partner

17 Things Woman Do Wrong in Bed

While we as woman like to think that we never do anything wrong, and it is the man’s fault something didn’t go right. There are a few of us woman that realize yes, there are things that we do that can completely ruin sex. So to help all of you clueless women out there that want to think they are doing sex right, I am supplying you with a list of things that WOMAN do wrong in bed.

You may want to pay attention to these little tips… if you really want to keep you man from fantasizing about other woman. And before you write to me and complain that there are more things that woman do wrong then men listed… get over it. This isn’t Cosmo or Glamour, my goal isn’t to make you think you are doing everything right… I want you to know what you are doing wrong so that you can improve your sexual relationship.

1 Thinking he should be ready for sex whenever you want it

Just because men are supposed to have a high sex drive doesn’t mean that they want sex all the time! If you decide you want sex, and he isn’t in the mood, don’t feel offended and think that he’s doing it deliberately – he’s probably heard the same thing from you many more times! Instead, use your feminine charms to seduce him. Let’s face it, women will always know how to get a man interested……and if he really isn’t, the answer is in your hands. You know where your clit is, so use it.

2 Believing that kissing has to be sweet and romantic

Sometimes the force of his passion will seem overwhelming to you. Suppose you’d like to have a gentle romantic session of kissing? Then, when you start, he begins to get passionate and starts to kiss you, shall we say, rather energetically. What to do? Maybe in these circumstances you should just surrender to passion and leave the romance for later?

3 Thinking men are responsible for giving you an orgasm

Hey honey, it’s YOUR orgasm, not his. He can’t give it to you, he can only help you get there. And that’s true even though he might think it’s his job. So don’t sit back and do nothing – tell him what you want, and if he isn’t doing it properly, how you’d like it to be done. And above all, give him feedback. he’s not a mind-reader.

4 Wondering why he has to go to sleep after sex

It’s just natural. Sometimes he might want to cuddle you; sometimes he won’t. While your orgasm makes you want to talk, bond and exchange sweet nothings, he wants to sleep. You just have to accept it isn’t personal.

5 Never trying any new sex positions

Variety is the spice of life my dear. The last thing in the world that should be the same old same old is sex. Try new positions, you may find that not only is your man satisfied, but you might find that you orgasm sooner or more often. There are so many positions out there to try. Eventually sex will turn into a whirl wind of fluid movements and positioning changes that will turn the two of you on.

6 Expecting him to be romantic and charming all the time

Remember, neither man nor woman can live by romance alone – no matter what passes for it in your household. Sometimes a man’s just gotta be a man. And while that doesn’t mean he should never be romantic, it just isn’t in a man’s nature to be romantic all the time, much as you might like it. Think of it this way – it’s a bit like him expecting you to behave like a female porn star all the time.

7 Thinking sex is just about your pleasure

I guess a lot of women think men are selfish in bed, but then they don’t think how they might please a man…do you suck his cock? Ask him if he’d like to try a little role play? Find out what he likes to have done to him? If not, stop reading the sensational crap in women’s magazines, and start asking your partner what he wants, and consider what sex can offer both of you within your relationship! I mean really! You want him to ask you what you want and do what you want… honey you need to do the same for him.

8 Reading the sex articles in magazines and thinking the advice they give is any good

Believe me, you’re never going to learn anything useful from magazine articles entitled “Ways to drive a man wild in bed”. Websites like this one, though, well, that’s a different matter altogether. Seriously, the best way to enjoy sex is to be aroused. The best way to be aroused is to be emotionally connected and intimate with your partner. It really is that simple. Communication and connectedness… sometimes it needs to be all about him… sometimes is needs to be all about you… but every time you both should be walking away… or rolling over satisfied with amazing sex.

9 Moaning about when he pushes your head towards his penis for oral sex

Well, true, he could just ask you for it, but then on the other hand maybe he’s sent you enough signals to tell you what he wants and you just ignored them? Men like oral sex, they like it a lot, and they want you to give it to them. Do you have to do it everytime you have sex? No, but every other time… couldn’t you give in for the sake of his pleasure.

10 Lying there like a log

I don’t care if you agreed to a quick screw before going to work or falling asleep, the biggest turn off for a man is when the woman just lays there. Understand this, while he may be looking forward to being satisfied he also wants to know that you are into what is going on, that you are enjoying what he is doing. Move a little, squeeze a little… if he wanted a no response he would get a blow up doll.

By just laying there all you are telling him is that you aren’t all that interested in his pleasure or needs, you just want it done an over with. So when he starts looking for a woman that is going to respond to his touch and enjoy sex… you will have no one to blame but yourself.

11 Not shaving – at least occasionally

It could be he’s one of the guys who gets off on websites like hairiest-horniest-pussies.com But then again, he might like you to look a little bit feminine, with your legs shaved and your armpits waxed. I’m not saying you need to do this, and you certainly don’t need to shave your pussy if you don’t want, but surely it’s nice to destubble for him once in a while rather than just doing it when you go the spa, isn’t it? Besides which, if you don’t shave, why should he?

Ok… I want to add that shaving should go beyond legs and armpits. Ladies… I understand that not all of you want to have a hairless vagina… that’s fine… but you can trim it. Keeping the vaginal area well manicured is just as important as shaving your legs. There are electric razors that have different blades on them to help you trim…. get out a pair of scissors and trim the hair, when you shave your legs, shave into the pubic hair so get it away from the legs.

The shorter the hair the better stimulation you will get because you are more accessible. Plus, during oral sex he isn’t getting a mouth full of hair and walking away with dental floss. Keep it short… you don’t have to shave it all off, just trim it.

15 Not having sex when you’re on your period

If you don’t want to have sex when you’re bleeding – though you might even find it erotic – then give him the best damn blow job he has ever had. Take your shirt off, get between his legs, let your breasts tickle and massage his penis and let your lips and tongue take over from there.

If you are concerned about the mess afterwards, put a towel underneath you and a wet wash cloth by the bed side. You would be surprised just how exciting and pleasurable sex can be during that otherwise dreadful time of the month.

16 Not washing before sex

While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, it’s never as nice as it might be if one of you is a little – well, ripe. Take the time to prepare – even if it’s earlier in the day – if you plan to have sex. While a twelve hour unwashed body might be perfectly acceptable, and a twenty four hour old body fine if you aren’t planning on getting your faces into each other’s genitals, it’s only a matter of consideration for your partner to be clean when you get intimate.

17 Asking questions right after sex

After sex is when you are suppose to be laying there enjoying the closeness of one another, this is not the time for life conversations. So don’t ask about the kids, don’t ask about work, don’t ask about this or that… just lay there and enjoy being close… kiss, hug.. caress…

14 Mistakes Men Make in Bed

Sex can be great, but there are lots of little pitfalls to avoid, simple things which can be passion killers for most, if not all, women. Not all these pointers will apply to all relationships, but why not avoid potential problems by seeing if any of them apply to yours?

You would think that most of what is listed here is plain common sense…. but there are still men that will do atleast one of these “No-no’s” in bed and then wonder why their woman isn’t raving tot he neighbors about what a great lover he is.

So here are 14 tips that you should take to heart, if you really want to see or feel a change in the excitement in the bedroom.

1 Going for her sexual areas (clitoris, vulva, breasts) without arousing her up first

Women take longer to get aroused than men, and often find touch to their genitals or breasts without adequate foreplay to be simply irritating. If you dive straight onto her vulva, clitoris or breasts, because that’s what you’d like her to do with your penis, you’re probably going to find that while you might get a hand on her bits, you won’t be invited back to play again.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

There are times for passionate sex, and there are times for more romantic sex. But no matter what kind of sex you’re having, most women really appreciate a good kisser – it’s such a romantic and intimate act and, done well, it can communicate to a woman exactly how you feel about her. Most women think of kissing as one of the most romantic things there is, and they value a man who knows how to do it well. So learn how to kiss sensitively, put some feeling into your lips as you do it, and don’t just resort to sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around. And the position you’re using for sex has a bearing on this, as well: kissing just isn’t possible in some of the more exotic sex positions – so, if it’s romance you’re looking for, man on top sex is as good as any.

3 Touching her breasts, clitoris and vulva too hard, too soon

Women appreciate a gentle touch to the clitoris – it’s a very sensitive organ, and you can’t handle it in the way you want your penis to be touched and expect her to respond by getting aroused – she’s more likely to kick you out of bed! To some extent the same is true of her breasts and vulva – it’s best to work up to touching them by kissing and touching around them first. Women become aware of their desire to be touched sexually by being touched on their non-sexual areas first. So take it slowly, put feeling into what you’re doing, and above all treat her clitoris with care. When she gets near to orgasm, a direct touch may well be more acceptable, and indeed may be needed to make her come, but “slowly, slowly” should be your motto when you’re enjoying foreplay. Furthermore, when you’ve actually got to penetration, don’t stop touching her. Even when you’re having sex in one of the more impersonal positions – like rear entry, for example – you can run your hands appreciatively over her body. For maximum touching, try sex in the side by side position.

4 Forgetting she has a body beyond her genitals

By which we mean, a body with a lot of skin which you can touch, caress, stroke, massage and kiss. Women feel sensuous during sex and enjoy skin to skin contact – so if you don’t spend time touching her all over, in a variety of ways that please her, you’ll miss out on one of the fastest ways to get her aroused. And focus on what you’re doing – she’ll know if you’re thinking about the football game as you stroke her. Try the more loving sex positions like side by side to see how much you can both enjoy sensual touching during sex.

5 Not taking the time to locate her erogenous zones

The sensitive spots that make her shiver with delight might be behind her knees, in the crook of her elbows, across her belly or on her earlobes, but if you don’t find them, she’ll assume you’re not really interested in her pleasure and probably mark you down as a second rate lover, selfishly concerned only with getting your cock into her vagina as soon as possible. Even if that last statement’s true, you need to take the time to find out what turns her on, and where those deliciously sensitive bits of her body are to be found. That’s the kind of thing that will make her see you as a considerate lover, and that will make her want to please you, which means you’ll have a much better time in bed. This knowledge will come in especially handy if you’re trying to go for a mutual orgasm while you make love: you can only get to her clitoris and breasts in certain positions. Once again, making love in the side by side position is probably a good way to ensure you can touch her erogenous zones – clitoris and breasts especially – while you make love.

6 Not paying attention to personal hygiene

This one right here should be a no-brainer! While there are the quick sex moments when the urge overtakes everything and the two of you just get down to business, this is not an everytime okay type of thing. Make sure that you are clean! Regardless of why that is, or even whether it’s right or wrong, just take note of the fact that if you turn up in bed with your armpits smelling of stale sweat, your foreskin harboring that special aroma, and your feet smelling like a slice of cheese, you’re not going to get much further until you’ve taken a quick trip to the bathroom.

7 Not shaving before sex

There’s nothing as unpleasant as a shaving rash – particularly when it comes from someone else’s stubble! Show her you care by shaving before sex, unless she’s expressed a desire to feel this sign of your manliness.

8 Trying to get into her before she’s ready or willing to be entered
One of the great things about sex is that it can vary so much from one occasion to another. This does, however, give you a problem. Sometimes you and she will want to get down to penetration and orgasm as quickly as possible; mostly, though, she’ll want things to work up to a climax more slowly. This means that no matter how eager you are to explore her vagina, you need to exercise some restraint. You need to skillfully judge the moment to enter her, whether with a finger or two, your penis, or indeed anything else, so that you don’t go in before she’s ready. By the way, that means before she’s mentally and emotionally ready – she may well be wet enough long before she wants anything put inside her vagina. You can judge this with experience by her desire, expressed in verbal or non-verbal form, to be penetrated. One helpful sign (apart from her begging you to put it inside her!) is a gentle wave like motion of her hips, or a kind of thrusting motion as she raises her vulva towards you..

9 Ejaculating two minutes after you enter her (or, worse, two seconds)

Sure, it can be difficult to control your ejaculation, to help you learn how to control your ejaculations you should spend some time reading http://artofintimacy.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/multiple-orgasms/ . Sex naturally involves a longish period of thrusting before a woman is fully satisfied. If you’re a quick ejaculator, you’re likely to have a very unfulfilled woman on your hands. She wants a long period of vaginal thrusting – unless she’s averse to penetration and intercourse – and she wants you to be able to control yourself so you don’t come before she’s satisfied. Indeed, that’s actually how sex should be for men: you should be able to choose when to ejaculate during intercourse. That’s how sex is meant to be.

10 Not giving her cunnilingus or masturbation

When you ask women to name their favorite sexual activity, many of them will say it’s oral sex. Women love the wetness, the warmth of your tongue on their labia and clitoris, the intimacy and the symbolic act of love that it entails. And it feels fantastic! So if you’re not making sure she gets enough “head”, you might just be leaving her disgruntled about how sex is going…..and the same is true if you don’t masturbate her from time to time. She’ll love you doing all these things, and she’ll return the favor in kind….

11 Stopping too soon, just as she’s getting to the point where she’s going to come

Men have a very clear route to orgasm in sex: they get aroused, they thrust, they get more aroused, they thrust harder, they ejaculate. It’s that simple. But it’s not like that for women: they can lose their arousal at any stage of sex, and it can slip away without warning. This makes it harder for men to know just what to do to keep their partner firmly on the road to orgasm – and what makes this worse is that women often get lost in their own sexual arousal, so they forget to tell their partner what they want. Your partner’s silence may be a sign of her sexual pleasure, but it’s not unreasonable to expect her to let you know how you’re doing – even if that’s only through moans of pleasure. She can communicate with you with single words (“yes”, “no”, “lighter”, “harder”, “faster”) no matter how aroused she is – and if she wants you to give her the maximum pleasure, then she needs to do this. What you need to do is keep going with your fingers, tongue, lips, vibrator or penis, and don’t stop – especially if she’s near her orgasm – keep going at all costs until she tips over into her orgasm!

12 Not respecting the precious moment of penetration

Men don’t always appreciate how much penetration means to a woman: it’s the ultimate act of trust and love, and when a woman to give her body to a man she makes a great emotional investment and perhaps takes a significant risk, especially with a new partner. So this act of love requires sensitivity on the part of the man – and that can be demonstrated in many ways: by looking into her eyes as you push your cock into her vagina; by asking if you may enter her (this can be a romantic and loving aspect of sex, but you probably won’t want to do it every time!); by taking her strongly with manly pride as her lover, when you know that’s what she’ll appreciate; by being sensitive to her needs at all times; and in many more ways as well, no doubt. The key thing is to penetrate her with respect and appreciate the honor she is paying you by taking your penis into her body. Penetrate her sensitively and mindfully every time you do it!

13 Pushing at random in the general area of her vulva with your erect cock

Nothing seems to be as much of a turn-off for a woman (apart possibly from an unwashed penis with a cheesy foreskin) as a man who can’t enter her gracefully. It’s not a problem if you occasionally have to ask her to guide you in! Indeed, if it’s a straight choice between you blindly pushing your penis at her for five minutes before you finally find her vagina, or just asking her to lend a helping hand….well, think about it. Which would you choose if you were in her position?

14 Thrusting hard until you come without thought for her pleasure

From a woman’s point of view, there’s nothing worse than a guy who gets so carried away with his own success (in getting into her in the first place) that he just thrusts away until he comes, without so much as a thought for what she might want. Certainly, there will be times when she is just happy to see you take your pleasure in her body, and come with a powerful and massive ejaculation, but most of the time she’s going to want to be in on the act in a more active way! So start slowly, see how she reacts to your thrusts, and if she obviously wants more of it, then speed up and thrust harder – unless you’re going to come too quickly, in which case you should learn how to control yourself. What she wants is a man in bed, not a two pump chump! You should be able to thrust for long enough to please your partner, at least some of the time, even if that means fifteen minutes’ thrusting before you ejaculate (possibly with a few breaks for rest). If you can’t go on for this long, or you can’t thrust hard enough to give her the pleasure she wants without coming yourself

Something New for the Couples from Lovecentria™

There are lots of factors that gets in the way of most couples to make sex less exciting as time goes by. Using the same positions every time and building up an unshakable routine sometimes becomes so tiring. The fact that life tends to dampen enthusiasm in the long run, it is a good idea that couples should try some new variations — especially in getting terms with intimacy.

Variation can easily and delightfully be achieved by learning new sex positions. Far from being nothing but frills, positions are actually a great way of making the other feel your love. It allows the two lovers to play with each other and to find new ways of getting and giving pleasure. If you feel that sex is getting uninteresting but love is still strong, then you simply have to learn some new positions and bring a little variety in the bedroom.

With comprehensive databases of sex hints, tips and information on the Internet and a whole section dedicated to sex positions, Lovecentria™ has all the answer for your concern. From the most mundane to the most exotic ones, we have them all accompanied by both text and incredible 3D animations that you can use to make sure you learn them right and make no embarrassing mistakes. Learning new positions can really strengthen the bond between two people especially if you get to see the fun side of trying and failing to get it right the first time.

Just think of all the pleasure lying ahead of you and focus on the fact that you are about to enjoy a great night and never worry that things might turn out wrong. You’re just beginning to learn new positions so there’s no reason to feel bad over a fumble, especially if the end result is mind blowing. Also, a really good idea is to try a decent number of positions in order to understand how they work.

The Lovecentria™ team has put together even more video and written guides that can add immensely to your knowledge and turn you into the ultimate lover. The entire website is packed with information that can help you understand what women think about men and how they see sex and what they like both in bed and in life.

New sex positions may well turn out to be just the beginning of your acquaintance with the Lovecentria™ website and you may find yourself returning time and again to read on other topics of interest. With 75 incredible 3D sex animations that you can control, you can surely become a bona fide sex god. For more info, just visit Lovecentria.

Public Sex

If you are looking for a way to really spice up the sexual side of your relationship may I recommend trying it in a public place.

Now, I am not saying putting on a show for all possible onlookers… I am talking about having a quick romp where the possibility of being seen is high but not completely obvious.

“Public sex is any sexual contact or intercourse that is done in a public place where you could be observed by other people.” Why in the world would you want to do that? Because it’s exciting! You know that you have dreamt of it, fantasized about having sex in the middle of the beach…. or on a blanket under a tree in the park… maybe in the middle of an open field. These are all public places and there is varying likelihood of being “caught” or being seen.

Centers of our brain that control fear, anxiety and arousal are situated so close that sometimes the feeling that you “play a wicked game” or little bit of nervousness can intensify your arousal and enhance your excitement.

Of course, a serious fear can or real danger can also dampen or extinguish sexual excitement. If you decided to sex in public, be aware that most states prohibit this and you can be even arrested. So while you might want to check out your state laws, you might also want to opt for a public but subtle sexual escapade.

 

Popular Places for Sex in Public

According some researches, parked cars are considered to be the most popular place for those who sex in public. The popularity of cars could be caused by several reasons. Despite of the fact that these are located in public sphere, these can somehow protect of curious persons passing by.
Next in popularity are public men rooms, parks, beaches and balconies outside of apartment buildings.

 

Why do people have sex in public?

 

Sometimes desire to have sex appears so suddenly that you cannot wait until you find a more comfortable place. Being influenced by strong sexual desire, you can content yourselves with the woods, a wheat field or bank of the river.
Some places are believed to have romantic aura. The most outstanding of these is, of course, the beach.

Enrichment of sex life. Some couples enjoy trying new things (like different adult toys) and places to enrich their sex lives.
Elevators, telephone booths, dance clubs, trains, airplanes ??“ sex in all these places can fresh up your sex life and can help you to get rid of routine. Besides, some people like when other people are watching them having sex.

Experiment with Quick Sex

You may find it interesting and exciting to know that you really don’t have to take hours to have exciting and satisfying sex. There is this wonderful thing called “quick sex.” People have done it for ages, in haystack, a phone booth, the swimming pool, the ocean, elevator… I am sure if you think about it you can come up with even more places. All you need is the desire to try something new and have really great sex really fast. According to the results of American psychologist’s researches, quick sex is getting more and more popular with sexually active men and women aged from 20 to 45.

I can throw a few statistics at you to help convince you:

42 per cent of respondents prefer quick sex during the day: in a private office, in the bathroom, in the balcony, in an underground garage

37 per cent like having quick sex early in the morning. On week days it is something like a habitual pleasant procedure before the first cup of coffee.

15 per cent like making fast love at night after work. They use it as a mean to relax after a hectic working day.

Only 6 per cent of respondents turned out to prefer classical long night sex.. However, even these long love admirers consider that nights spent on getting the desired pleasure are for those who suffer from chronic insomnia.

Believe it or not we as Americans even have a “Top Ten” of places that we like to have quick sex the best. I am providing the list, but necessarily in order:

1. Mom’s bedroom – okay I just think this is a “no-no”, but many people seem to like it.

2. Back seat of car

3. Public Restroom

4. In the sea on a hydrocycle

5. On the dinner table – can we say dessert first please!

6. Fitting room in a department store.

7. Elevator – who hasn’t had this fantasy? Obivously many people are living out that fantasy… might want to think about that the next time you’re in an elevator… not leaning on the walls.

8. Taxi/Cab

9. The bosses office – not neccessarily with the boss… but there are many people that opt for that as well.

10. On a grand piano – we all remember Pretty Woman

Now, not every woman in the world is going to be able to orgasm in three minutes, which about the amount of time you have in a stuck elevator… so to help the process along woman need to not think about being conventional… do what your body tells you, do what your body wants. There are a number of positions that can help such as when the man enters the woman from behind. This position has two fold benefits… for the woman, the man is able to penetrate deeper and his penis will be able to stimulate the front wall of the vagina. For the man, he gets to live out that deep dark fantasy of having rough sex with an unknown woman.

For all of you woman out there looking for a way to blow your man away and make him beg for more, then quick sex is the answer. If you are married and feel like your sex life has reached that mundane point where it is the same old thing every time you have sex… I highly recommend that you be the initiator and seduce your husband in the kitchen, the living room, your home office… Worried about the kids, send them to play… tease your husband… be playful… a few suggestive comments and playful massages… rubbing up against him… as the kids go out the door you can easily give him the best blow job of his life and finish off with some quick sex.

Your sex life needs diversity. This doesn’t mean different people, sleeping around… this means throwing caution to the wind and experimenting. This is vital to a healthy happy sex life.

Now there are many sites, books, magazine and “experts” that have been telling men for years that sex needs to be delightful and long for a woman to enjoy. Guess what, yes we as woman enjoy foreplay… there are times when we like to take it slow and make it last for hours… but there are also other times when we want it just as quick as a man. So I have two recommendations here first for the men, talk to your woman… find out what it is she wants and how quick… if you don’t want us to stereotype you then don’t stereotype us. Woman, come on… take charge… if you are really want quick sex you can think about what you are going to do to your husband all day so that the moment you have alone time together you can easily enjoy quick sex.

If you really don’t want to give up the foreplay… initiate the foreplay while he is at work. Thanks to the invention of email, IM’s and texting you can quickly send your man a suggestive, playful or dirty message that will help get the excitement going. You as a woman can think about what it is you want to do to your husband when he gets home. You can think about what he’ll do to you, this is mental foreplay.

According to the statistics, most women think that the best and unforgettable sex adventure is a spontaneous sex in a wrong place and wrong time. Take notice that only a few of them mention a whole night marathon according to all scientific rules and instructions. As it turns out, long foreplay that has been described in thousands of articles and books is nothing more than a fairy tale.

Statistics proves this fact: while masturbating a woman orgasms quicker than in three minutes, whereas while making love with a partner she achieves the same result within about 8 minutes. Very often a 25-40 year woman is ready for sex just looking at her partner’s hard penis, without any additional manipulations that are to take place before intercourse. I don’t know that I completely agree with the stats. I think there is more going on in the woman’s mind at the site of her aroused lover then just the fact that his penis is hard.

If you want to have an amazing sex life. Take chances, experiment… but most importantly COMMUNICATE with one another. If you don’t feel secure enough in your marriage or relationship with your partner to be able to tell them what you want, how you want it and how you like it… there are deeper issues then just sex.

Rustic Tantric Sex Position

If you have given the Flower in Bloom position a try that doesn’t require any practice or flexibility then you should give the Rustic position a try. This one you can try today with out any worries. Here is my step by step guide. I have also included some tips at the end.

Step One: Naturally you need to undress. As before, I recommend you doing a little strip tease for one another or helping each other undress. Tantric sex is about the mind, body and spirit and how they all work together to bring your orgasm to a whole new place.

Step Two: The woman is lay down on her back and keep her legs together.

Step Three: The man will get on top of the woman, supporting himself above her with his arms. Make eye contact, flirt, touch… arouse one another. Tickle her with your magic wand! The woman could teasingly play with the magic wand to help build excitement.

Step Four: The man will then spread his legs apart, bringing each one down on the outside of the woman’s thighs. Basically what you are doing is straddling your woman as you hover over her.

Step Five: Use one of your hands to insert your penis into her vagina. Now you can begin intercourse as usual and continue in this position until the two of you orgasm.

Tips:

Make sure that you have a bottle of lubricant close by or other sex oil. Making it sure that it is close will make it so that you will not disrupt the Rustic position.

While it’s true that the Rustic position is usually done with the man on top, you can switch it up and put the woman in the superior position. Instead of the woman wrapping her legs around the man, she will keep them closed and the man will wrap his legs around the woman from his place underneath.

 

Set the mood with intimate lighting such as candles and incense. You might even want to add Eastern instrumental music.

Flower In Bloom: Tantric Sex Position

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Tantric sex positions are known for there ability to cause intense orgasms that reverberate down to the soul. Ok… you may not believe me, so I will tell you that they do at least cause orgasms that your entire body experiences.

However, Tantric sex positions do require a lot of physical dexterity and practice. One particular position is incredibly beneficial for the woman’s orgasm, it is called the Flower in Bloom position. Relax, if you haven’t tried this before know right now that you are going to need to practice this position in order to reap maximum benefits. Practice… hmm, that’s not so bad is it…

Here is a step by step guide that will help you practice this enticing and erotic position.

Step 1: Take off all of your clothes. Have your partner take off all of thier clothes… if you want to make it even more sexy, undress for one another or each of you undress the other. Remember this all about mind and body working together.

Step 2: the woman should lay down on the bed or the floor.

Step 3: Draw your knees up to your breasts.

Step 4: Rest your feet against your man’s armpits. The man should be sitting on his heels in front of your legs.

Step 5: Put your hands under your butt and lift you butt a few inches in the air.

Step 6: Spread your thighs as far apart as they will comfortably go.

Step 7: Pull your heels back until they are touching your hips or they are as close to your hips as you can get them.

Step 8: Continue to hold butt up in this position while your partner enters you. As he is thrusting you should be pushing back against him. Continue until the two of you have reached orgasm together.

If you like this position stay tuned for a few more “How To’s” in the sex position department.